Desember 29, 2009

29.12.2009 & 30.12.2009

Last night is 29.12.2009... I watched half of the 3 idiots... it's an Indian movie... New movie... I like it but I only watched half... The reason why I only watched half not bcos the movie is not nice but bcos of him... He suddenly called me n said wana meet me... When he called me, I was eating... He asked me whether I wanna meet him or not and I just keep quiet n didnt say anything... cos I dont feel like meeting him... But he gave me a good excuse... That we need to talk... Then I have to say yes... Then after 20 minutes he arrived... He gave me 3 misscall... N I went out to meet him... When I was going into the car, I took a long deep breath... Hahaha... Funny rite?? Going to meet bf but have to take deep breath... Hahaha... Anyway, when I went into the car, I just sat there and said Hai to him... And I was like meeting a fren... But then he suddenly come forward and hug me... Hahaha... But I just sat down and didnt reply his hug... So he just took my hand and hug himself... Hahaha... Erm... Then he started talking and I just sat there n listen... He thought I didnt listen to him and he stopped talking... But then I said I did listen and he started talking again and he asked me understand or not and I just answered yes yes yes... And I suddenly said I want KFC and he directly drive the car and bought KFC for me... And we ate in the car infront of my house... After that we just kept talking... I duno but he just asked me not to change and begged me not to change but I just cant... When he hug me, I never hug back... When he kissed me, I never kissed back... When he asked me to meet him again, I just said we'll see or wadever... Hmmm... I duno wad I should do... Am confuse but for now, maybe this is the right way... I will just pray for myself... Anyway, guys, new year eve is coming... 2009 is coming to an end... Enjoy the last moment... Last day of 2009... Throw the sadness and the bad things behind and bring the happiness and joy to 2010... Welcome 2010 and dont ever look back anymore... Everything that happened in 2009 is just a past and a lesson for us... Look to the future, look to the front... Something is waiting for us there... Dont ever say impossible cos nothing is impossible... Impossible is something that u have to change to possible... So, from 01.01.2010, make everything impossible in 2009 to be possible... Never have negative thinking cos it will only ruin u... Positive thinking is the best... 2010 = No worry, be happy... So, gambateh...

Desember 28, 2009

christmas n new year

Hahaha... Long time didnt post any blog...been busy working so didnt post lor...but i do write diary everyday lor...christmas... christmas is on 25th december... i didnt really go n celebrate it like years back... usually i will go church n celebrate with family... but since now i m all alone in oversea... so i didnt really go n celebrate it... tat day i woke up at 12.30pm n directly take my bath... after tat hen i checked on my phone, i juz realize tat jisang called me... so i called back n he asked me out... so i juz said okay cos i have nothing to do too... but when i was in the train station waiting for the train, there is some thoughts coming out asking me not to go..but i still went... when i met him, i was shocked with his appearance... he is not the guy tat i know anymore... the whole day, i dun feel very happy... then suddenly they asked me to go crown so i went... n i accidentally met ronny there... ronny seem so happy when he saw me but i m not cos i dun wan him to think negatively... anyway, continue... then he said he will call me... we hav small quarrel when he call but after tat ok le... miss him muchie muchie...hahaha...anyway,tats all for my christmas day... n will talk bout my new year later after the new year come...hahha...new year is coming...left 3 days...counting down... duno wad to do in new year...if i m in indonesia or malaysia, then i know lor...indonesia, my mom will make party n we see fire works...if in malaysia, will go out with alan gor n celebrate lor...hahaha... but now in melbourne...not many fren yet...so duno wad can i do lor..will be bored new year though...hahha...okay...anyway, time to sleep...bye...

Desember 04, 2009

Nothing's gonna change my love for u...

If I had to live my life without u near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With u I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without u
Nothing's gonna change my love for u
U ought to know by now how much I love u
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for u
U ought to know by now how much I love u
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for u
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead a way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for u if u should need me
U dont have to change a thing
I love u just the way u are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help u see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without u

Love and Marriage

A student ask a teacher, "what is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big padi,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is a even bigger one waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he start to realise that the padi is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regreted !!!! So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person....""What is marriage then?" the student asked.The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

This is story about love and marriage... U have to choose all ur life... Everything is depend on urself... Love who u wan to love before tis too late... Life is simple... But sometimes its hard... U have to choose between this n that... He and she... Here n there... So... Make a right choice... Don regret after choosing it...

45 things a girl want from their boyfriend

FoR3vEr LovE

1-touch their waist
2-talk to them
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly

are you remembering this?

6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with your friends

keep reading

11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved

Are you thinking about someone?

16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!

..20 u need to show her you mean it too

21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. You buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can still help

we might deny it but we actually like and kinda want you to get us things

26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school/work, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

are you still reading this u better be its important

31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she’s upset, comfort her remember this next time you are with her
36. When people tease her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible
41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night
44. Dedicate a song to her.
45. Always Remind her how much you love her. You’ll never know when she needs just a lil more love

why women always cry...

A little boy asked his mother "Why are you crying?"
 
一個男孩問他的媽媽:『你為甚麼要哭呢?』
 
 
 
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
 
媽媽說:『因為我是女人啊。』
 

 
"I don't understand," he said.
 
男孩說:『我不懂。』
 
 
 
His mum just hugged him and said, "And you never will"
 
他媽媽抱起他說:『你永遠不會懂得。』
 
 
 
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
 
後來小男孩就問他爸爸:『媽媽為甚麼毫無理由的哭呢?』
 
 
 
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
 
『所有女人都這樣。』他爸爸回答。
 

 
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
 
小男孩長成了一個男人,但仍舊不懂女人為甚麼哭泣。

Finally he put in a call to God;
and when God got on the phone,
he asked, "God, why do women cry so! easily?"
 
最後,他打電話給上帝;當上帝拿起電話時,
他問道:『上帝,女人為甚麼那麼容易哭泣呢?』
 
 
 
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world;
yet, gentle enough to give comfort"
 
上帝回答說:
 
『當我創造女人時,讓她很特別。
我使她的肩膀能挑起整個世界的重擔;並且,又柔情似水。』
 


 
"I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth
and the rejection that many times comes from her children"
 
『我讓她的內心很堅強,
能夠承受分娩的痛苦和忍受自己孩子多次的拒絕。』
 

 
"I gave her a hardness that allows
her to keep going when everyone else gives up,
and take care of her family through sickness
and fatigue without complaining "
 
『我賦予她耐心,使她在別人放棄的時候繼續堅持,
並且無怨無悔的照顧自己的家人,渡過疾病和疲勞。』
 

 
"I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any
and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly"
 
『我賦予她在任何情況下,都會愛孩子的感情,
即使她的孩子傷害了她。』
 
 
 
"I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults
and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart"
 
『我賦予她包容她丈夫過錯的堅強
和用他的勒骨塑成她來保護他的心。』
 

 
"I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her strengths
and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly"
 
『我賦予她智慧,讓她知道一個好丈夫是絕不會傷害他的妻子的,
但有時我也會考驗她支持自己丈夫的決心和堅強。』
 
 
 
"And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
 
『最後,我讓她可以流淚。只要她願意。這是她所獨有的。』
"You see: The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair."!
 
『你看,女人的漂亮不是因為她穿的衣服、
她保持的體型或者她梳頭的方式。』
 
"The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart
* the place where love resides."
 
『女人的漂亮,必須從她的眼睛中去看,
因為那是她心靈的窗戶和愛居住的地方。』


用平静的心去面对不平静的事 ;
用成熟的心胸去选择自己的未来;
Made with.... 缘分是找到包容自己的人。。。


每一个女人都很漂亮。。。
Every Women Is Beautiful...

FRIENDS

Friends do things for one another

They understand

They go a million miles out of theirway

They hold your hand

They bring you smiles
when a smile is exactly what youneeded.

They listen and they hear
what is said in the spaces between
thewords

They careand they let you know
you're in their prayers.

A friend can guide you,
inspire you,comfort you,
or light up your life with laughter.

A friend understands your mood
sand nurtures your needs.

A friend lovingly knows just what
you're after.

When good news come
as friend is the first one you turn to
When feelings overflow
and tears need to fall
friends help you through it all.

Friends bring sunlight into your life
They warm your life with their presence
whether they are far awayor close by your side.

A friend is a gift
that brings happiness
and a treasure that money can't buy.

Thanks for being my friend

My Love

You're the person living in my heart
and the person that I've treasured so.
Because you were so special
I couldn't hold you
because I had never given anyone happiness before

I love you who's never laughed a tease.
When I was happy or sad
you cried and laughed with meand
I want to do anything I can foryou.

Hello my love, my love I'll protect you now.
Thank you for putting up with me and
waiting for me.

Hello my love, my love I'll love you forever.
When I'm born again
I want you to be the one I love.
Let's be a lamp to each when we've
lost our way in the dark night.
Even if the rain wind drives us back,
don't let go of these two hands holding you now.
You were always by my side when I was worn and pained.
I had used "I'm sorry" in place
of "thank you".

Hello my love, my love I'll protect you now.
Thank you for putting up with me and
waiting for me.

Hello my love, my love I'll love you forever.
When I'm born again
I want you to be the one I love.
Even if I fall down and fall down
again and again,
if I have you then I know I can stand back up again.

Hello my love, my love I'll protect you now.
Thank you for putting up with me and
waiting for me.

Hello my love, my love when I call you like this
I'm so happy I could cry, I love you.

Desember 01, 2009

Him... <3<3<3

Am listening to a song by ANANG HERMANSYAH... The title is "Separuh Jiwaku Pergi" means Half my Soul Go... It's happening to me now... I dont know... Am feeling hurt inside... It's paining... Am crying a lot this few days... But I just cant stopped wad is happening... I love him... He love her... She love him... This is wad happened to me now... I know am stupid and foolish to love him... No one agree... But, I still love him... I will owes love him... Not for 1 month, 1 year, 1 century... But for whole life... I will owes be there for him... Whenever he needs me... I will give him my smile... My everything... But guys, I really dun mean to ruin anyone's life... I just wanna be with him everytime when he needs me... I know... I will be hurt more than now... But, I will accept wad will be happening in the future... I will pray for his happiness all the time... I will care for him... I will love him... That's forever... Am sorry to hurt people who love me... But, I just wanna be myself now... I just wanna love him... Maybe everyone who knows will scold me being so stupid, so foolish, so childish... But please... Just for this time... Let me be myself... Do wad I wanna do... I owes never have the chance to do wadever I wanna do... Since small, wadever my mom n dad said, I will owes listen to them... I never say no... I will owes say yes... Even my dad asked me to break up with my beloved one, I did tat too... But this time, just for this time, let me make my own choice, live with my own choice... I am ready for every hurt that I will take... I am ready for every sadness tat will happen... I am ready for every tears tat will roll off... I am ready... I am not just saying around and am not just playing with the feelings... This time, am real... Am serious... I love him... With all my heart... Even he will not be the one I know for the 1st time... But I will still love him for who he is... I will not regret to know him... I dont regret to let him come into my life... I dont regret that I love him... And I will owes love him... He is someone special for me... Even he will not be there in the future, I will still love him... Sometimes I cant understand myself too... But this is really happening now... I dont ask for advice... I just ask for support... Dont scold me cos no matter wad u guys said, I will still love him... With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my energy... Until my very last breath... I duno how long I will have... I know my own health history... And I know how to manage it... I really will love him for the rest of my life... But God, please, before YOU take me away, just let me see him happy... That's my only wish... Please let me be there to congratz him for his happiness... And after that, YOU can take me whenever YOU want... I will have no more regret... God,please make him as YOUR love one too... Cause he deserve it...

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi (Half my soul go)

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi

Memang indah semua
Tapi berakhir luka
Kau main hati
Dengan sadarmu
Kau tinggal aku

Reff:
Benar ku mencintaimu
Tapi tak begini
Kau khianati hati ini
Kau curangi aku

Kau bilang tak pernah bahagia
Selama dengan aku
Itu ucap bibirmu
Kau dustakan semua
Yang kita bina
Kau hancurkan semua


Translation :

Everything is wonderful
But over the wound
You play hearts
With your concious
You're left me

Reff:
I truely love you
But not like this
You betrayed this heart
You cheat me

You said never happy
As long as with me
That lips said
You lied on
everything we built
You destroy all

November 30, 2009

Maya

Am sitting in my 2nd bedroom... On the floor... Typing this new blog... After a long cry... At last, I can smile... Even it's paining inside, I will still overcome it... In front of him... Someone I love... And I will never cry in front of him anymore... SInce he hate my tears, I'll give him my smile... A smile that he missed for this few days... The truth has started and it wont have an end for it... I will never lie and I will be who I am in front of him... In front of everyone, just judge me wadever u all like... Maya is Maya... No matter wad I do, I will owes be me... Love me or hate me, it's ur decision... Just leave (IT SHOULD BE FU*K OFF, U guys know I am not that gentle...Someone change that..Just explaining...)my life if u r not coming in to make it beautiful cos I dont need someone to ruin it!!! I can ruin it myself if I wanted to so Bye for those who will go from my life... OK... So, thats all for now... I will start my new life at this very moment... The life which evryone should live...U guys ...its my suggestion...Life is beautiful live it guys...dont ruin...no matter what pains u have...its ur own life...live it...u will never get another.............

the truth...

Recently I have been stop posting blogs... I am busy with my school and jobs... Now am having my school holiday for 6 weeks... So right now am busy working... I dont know why recently I am so crazy with working... I feel like keeping myself busy... Anyway... I am now S & A... Single and Available... I duno what I am feeling right now... I am tired... I really feel tired... I slept for the whole day today... Something weird inside... I felt something... Ok, this time, this blog will be about the truth... I dont care wad u people will think after reading this blog... I admit I am a jerk, a loser, a playgirl... So, F**K oFF if u dun like it!!!

1st truth :

I Broke up with my Boyfriend!!! A boyfriend that have been in my life for 1 year and 10 months and 6 days... People will think that it's a shocking news... But this really happen... We broke up...

2nd truth :

I like a guy that I shouldnt like!!! Why I said I shouldnt like him?? It's because he have someone waiting for him in his home country... As long as he is near me, am happy... Even it's hurt... Sometimes, I just wanna asked him to be with me forever without any other gal waiting for him... But thinking of that makes me feel I am selfish... I know he love her... And she love him very much... He said he love me and said I am his... I duno what to say... Knowing that fact makes me feel hurt... Maybe this is the reason I feel hurt now...


Thats the 2 truths that I wanna say... Hahaha... (for those who have read my blog before.... Am sorry to delete the 3rd truth bcos tat truth will not happen... Since it's future tense, so, forget that truth..) <--- requested by my Mr.Vampire... The guy who hurt me so much but I still a foolish to love him...

November 20, 2009

No Title again!!!!!!!

Suddenly, at this very moment, I cant sleep... I dun even feel sleepy... I dont know why... I worked... I am tired... I feel sick... I got sorethroat... I got headache... But, I dun feel wanna sleep... I just wanna sit down here n type my blog... I feel like posting something... I duno what to type... I have no idea what title I should give to this post... I duno what I feel right now... I duno what I am doing... I duno what is in my mind... All I know is type type type for now...
Below are 10 of my negative attitude : (Like it or not, it's me!!!! )

1. I am short tempered (trying to change now n my mom said I improved)
2. I am childish (I really am)
3. I am stupid (this is just sometimes when I feel wanna be stupid)
4. I am crazy (this happen only when I am with my frens)
5. I like to cry (this will never can change)
6. I am fat (this, I am trying to diet but I always fail)
7. I am tomboy (this one oledi since small)
8. I am short (I dun play basketball, so I wont grow taller)
9. I am lazy (this is proven)
10. I am playgirl (this... I tried to change...)

Ok... That's 10... Like it or not, just ACCEPT it!!!!! I dun care who u are, if u wanna come close to me then u have to accept everything!!!!!

November 19, 2009

untitled...

Today is Friday... I went to Partyworld for Karaoke with my frens... There are Usun, Alvin, Mely, Janet, Kiat, Audry and Ching Rou... The 8 of us are crazy... Maybe the 1st time when we stepped into the room, we don't feel high... High as mean excited... So we just sing some song... When it came to a song " Because of You" we started to get high and we sang so loudly even without the mic... Gosh... I just cant bear myself not to sing with them... When we are going up to Partyworld, my fren said this to me : " I know something happen from ur face lar... So later just go and put it out..." So, when I was in the room, I tried my best not to think bout the problems and keep singing... I dun care wad people think bout my voice... I know I dont have nice voice to sing... I dont know how to sing... Maybe my singing like shit... I just dont care... All I wanna do is be myself... Sometimes, I just need to get drunk to be myself... But since I have stop drinking... I need to use other things to make myself happy... Hahaha... I duno... Maybe people think I am crazy... But, that's me... I am who I am... I am not as good as my sis... I am not as pretty as my sis... I am not as good girl as my bro... I am stubborn... I am talkative... I am lack of smile... And if u cant take the real me, then stay far from me... I dont need u since u dont need me... Maybe for most people, being the real them is easy but for me, I cant... It's not easy for me... I always be someone that I dont know... Someone that others want me to be... I am an actress in my own world... In my own life... I cant even be the producer, the writer, the main role in my own scenario... I don't know why... Sometimes, just sometimes, I really wanna be myself... No matter infront of who... Even infront of the president... So, let me be myself!!!!

November 14, 2009

papa ku chayank :p

Now... Right now... At this very moment... I am lying on my bed... Checking my email... Chatting with my friends... And most importantly I'm chatting with my "papa"... He is my pastor in Indonesia church... I miss him so much... He is so kind that everyone love him... Of cos include me... He is kind, friendly, funny, high self confident... He always said that he looks like Jackie Chan... Hahaha... No matter how he look, he is still my favourite papa... I knew him cos I went to that church named Tabernacle Family... In the church, we are really like big family... I like the feels that I got there... The people are friendly... Since I knew him, I always go to him whenever I need someone to talk to... Whenever I need a shoulder to cry on... Maybe he is feeling bored with me but he always put on a smile and warm hug for me whenever he saw me... Now we are far apart... We cant talked to each other like we used to... We cant see each other like we used to... We cant hug each other like we used to... We cant do anything together like we used to... and I am still not used to this condition where we are far apart and we just can communicate by using Yahoo Messenger and Handphone... For those people out there who create Yahoo and Handphone, I love u both so much... Cos u both make me can contact my papa... He always know the way to comfort me... He always know what I should do... He always be there for me... Am proud to have this papa... Now, when I went to church in Melbourne, I always feel something is losing... Something that I used to do but I cant do it now... Something that I miss so much... Something that I wanna see... Being such a wonderful papa's daughter, I am very proud... He never say no to me... He always listen to me... He always is the best... I believe him... HE believe in him... Gambateh papa ku chayank...

November 11, 2009

no title againnnnn

It's 21 degree now in Melbourne at 1.02 AM... And yet, I havent fall asleep... Was lying on my bed and reading my friend's blog... I dont know how they can actually manage to post blogs almost everyday... As I cant even post one blog for one day... Hahaha... I always post blog when I feel like writing... Which is for now... Hahaha... Melbourne is going into summer... Although most my friends said it's still spring but for me, it's SUMMER... Gosh... Sometimes it will be 34 degree and the sun actually burn your skin... Oh my beloved skin, I'm sorry that I let the sun to burn u... Gosh... I love Melbourne but not the sun... I love the sky where it's blue and you can actually see the white soft clouds... I often tell people I met that I love Melbourne's sky... When u are here, u will know why I love it... Yesterday, which is few hours back, I was talking on the phone with a friend of mine for 2hours and 45 minutes where I actually talked to her since 3pm actually... Hahaha... So, it is more than 2 hours... But I get some nap at 5.43pm till 6.43pm... We talked bout many things and we share many stories of ourselves... Talking on the phone with her actually can make me laugh when I am stressed and dont feel like laughing... I dont know what really happen to me but this few days, I can survive by eating once meal a day... Like the day before yesterday, I had chicken curry for my lunch and I didnt eat anything else after that which makes me survive until last nite... I dont know how I manage to do that but I actually really did tat... I can survive without eating... But one thing for sure, I CANT SURVIVE WITH DRINKING... Hahaha... Yesterday I stayed at home the whole day cause I am lazy to go to campus... I woke up at 10.30am where I actually should be in campus at 9.00am... Hahaha... When I woke up, I called my friend directly to ask him about today's class but when I heard his voice, he just woke up too... Just like me... Hahaha... And we had the same reason for not attending campus... LAZY... Hahahaha... It's the 1st time I'm absent... Weird... But real... Haha... Staying home while everyone is in campus feels nice... Where everyone will call u and ask u why didnt u go to campus... Hahaha... I just answered them I cant wake up... Haha... By the way, continue about me talking on the phone with my friend, we did some crazy things like singing few Indonesian songs together... Hahaha... But it feels great cos I feel stressed that time and she just found out a way to make me not feeling stress... Thanks to her I feel better now... Should I say I am going crazy now or I am just stress?? Weirdie... Hahaha... Trying to be myself again but suddenly, at this moment, I cant find myself in me... It's weird but it's happening... Something is missing in me... And I dont know what's that... I dont know where to find that missing piece of me... I really feel lost now... Maya, where are u?? Come back soon cos I am missing u... Hahaha... See, I'm crazy now... I talked to myself too often... Hahaha... I am really not me now... Goshhhh... Even my friend feel weird when talking to me on the phone just now cause I keep laughing and laughing... I dont know why... Today I checked my addiction to facebook and I got 86% for it... Oh my, am I really that addicted??? Gosh... Never realize... Hahaha... Ok then... Maybe I am really that addicted to facebook... Hahaha... So what??? I feel comfortable with it... It can make me type out what I'm feeling at the moment... Hahaha... So, no doubt that facebook is part of my life... Actually, I love doing what I'm doing and I love being who I am... So, will help myself to be better... Ciayou... Gambateh...

November 10, 2009

Melbourne, Indian, Me

I dont know what I am writing now... I dont know what happen to me recently... Did Melbourne really changes me?? I dont know too... Maybe, like what my friend said... Melbourne really can changes someone and it really did... It changes me... I am lost... I cant find myself... I dont know what I'm thinking... I dont know what I'm doing... I dont know what I am... I am confuse... Confuse with everything that is happening around me right now... Everything seems to be so unpredictable... Everything happen far beyond my expectation... Being who I am maybe is not what I want but this is my life... Life where no one can actually understand... When I told my friend bout it, I dont even know whether they really understand or not... For the time being, I just want to be alone... Maybe, it's time for me being lonely for now... I dont know why... I just wanna stay still, stay cool, stay alone in my room... Maybe people will think that I am crazy... Where we should be enjoying life with friends while we can but at this very moment, I really dont feel like talking... Or do anything... I just want to be a lazy girl... Lying on my bed... Imagining things that never will happen to me... Melbourne is a nice place with nice people but I dont know why most people dont like Indians... Telling ya all the truth, I like Indians... No matter they are like what people say like smelly, annoying, like monkeys... But I still like them... Not all Indians are same like what people say... When u come to them and try to understand them, U will find out that they are good, kind, nice, interesting... And maybe they are actually much better than u guys who thinks that they are under u all... I hate when people ask me why I like Indians... I like Indian or not I guess it's my problem... Why people like to ask me such question?? There is no reason behind that... I just feel comfortable with them... Is that wrong?? I just wanted to know more friends... That's all... Please never say u hate Indians in front of me or I will never ever talk to u again... I ever had an Indian family as my neighbour back then when I am still staying in Kuching... And for your information, we spent lots of time together, eating, playing, chit chat... We always went out together... We spent lots of things together... They are my first Indian friends and I like them... And until now, I still like them... Maybe not all Indians are good and friendly and kind... But mostly, who I knew, they are different... They are good, kind, caring, friendly... Dont be so racist... Maybe one day when u are having problems, they are the one who can help u... Be friends with everyone, anyone... Now, I am staying with Indian family in Melbourne... And I feel comfortable with them... I like them... Being in such nice family, I am really happy... For those who dont like Indian, come tell me whats the reason cause I dont found any reason that u should hate them... And I am proud to say I like Indian...

November 02, 2009

Best friend

Having a best friend, is the best thing i wanted to have in this world... Even only for 1 or 2, it's enough for me... I have 2 best friend... And I wanted u all to know that this 2 girls, is my beloved best friend forever... K... Let me intro u...

U SUN ---> yeaps... this is my 1st best friend's name... She is my friend since primary school... Now I am teenager... So, u bet that's long enough as a best friend... We ever stayed near to each other... We chat so much that we don't even remember what we chatted before... We eat and drink and play together as world has no difficulty for us to think... We go same primary school, same high school... And I left Kuching after that... I havent met her for almost 5 years... And I thought I lost this best friend of mine, but facebook and friendster met us up... And when I told her I wanna come to Melbourne, she was so happy... And I am glad that I can see her again... I thought she changed... As u see, 5 years didnt meet... Hahaha... But on the day when she picked me up, I know, she never changed... She is still the freind that I know... And I will always love her... Everytime when I am lost in the city, everytime when I called her, she will always be there for me... No matter when, she always will tell me not to worry and I will find my way... And after calling her, I really found my way... She was like the angel that God send to me when I am lost... Hahaha... She was so great... Kind... Friendly... Love her... Muacks muacks muacks...

Cathy ---> ok... this is my 2nd best friend... She is my friend since we are in high school... Knowing her is best part of my life too... We always stick together and do anything together... And lastly, she even stay near to my house... (in Kuching)... We are classmate, we are neighbour, we are best friend... I duno what she treat me as, but she always is my best friend... Didnt meet her for almost 3 years I guess... And she is coming to Melbourne soon... I am so excited... She was so good... Everytime when I need someone to talk to, she is there... She can comfort me... Hahaha... And the most important thing, she can cool me down everytime when I am angry... Thanks for being there for me... I can't wait to see u in Melbourne...

Life without best friend is not called a life...

Oktober 18, 2009

No. title....

Living here in Melbourne...
All alone...
Even there are friends, but I just can't stand to be sad...
Sometimes people are so so kind that they ask me out..
But... sometimes... I just need to be alone...
Cos there is time that I need to be myself...
I don't know why...
But infront of people...
All I can do is putting a fake smile..
A mask on my face...
Telling everyone that I am just doing great...
Without them noticing that I am so sad...
Cos since small, all I wanted to do is making everyone around me to be happy...
Maybe... No one ever notice this...
But there is this guy who notice it ever since we met...
He is the one who always there for me...
He is the one who always wipe off my tears...
He is the one who always listen to me...
He is God... Who always never leave me...
When I 1st knew Him, I never thought He will be so kind to me...
But then, He treat me as His daughter...
Being His daughter is the most greatful thing in my life...
Having a fake smile is something that I can do so easily...
I just don't know why...
Sometimes, I heard Him saying be yourself...
But, sometimes, I just can't be myself...
Everyone around me thought that I live a nice and happy life...
And I want to keep it like that...
Ever someone said to me :" Don't wait for others to talk to u but u should go and talk to others.."
But does he know that I... Just want to be quiet?
I don't really like talking... I don't know why...
But that happen since I am young...
I can't talk too much and I rather stay quiet...


Today in church we don't have sunday class...
But then we got some program...
Gong Rong is bringing us all for a prayer class...
And this day... When he say talk to myself...
All I can say to myself is, don't put a mask anymore...
Deep in my heart, I am so so suffer...
I want to cry out loud...
I want to be like everyone...
Laugh when you are happy...
Cry when u are sad...
Sometimes, I just wanted to shout out loud...
That's the reason I love beach and mountains...

Every guy who dates me will ask me curiously why I don't like shopping...
Yup... I am not like other normal girls who like shopping...
Who can shops all day long and wasting thousands dollar a day...
I just like beach and mountain...
I like to see the miracle that God create...
I feel that I am happy when I am in those places...
I am myself when I am there...
I can cry and laugh... And no one cares...
Being not myself for so many years...
It's the hardest thing to do...
But then, I've made it and make it as a routine...

God, I am sorry that sometimes I just forget about You...
But thanks to You cos You never leave me...
You always give me miracle in my life...
I don't know about others life...
But in my life, God always gives me miracle...
No matter how big or small it is, it always make me back to Him whenever I am lost...

Oktober 11, 2009

Miss Him

I miss him so much...
He is not by my side...
I feel weird with this situation...
Have been far away from him for 1 month liao...
Really miss him...
1 month without him very hard to past...
Cause I have him beside me for 1 year and 8 months liao...
Within this 1 year and 8 months..
He always by my side no matter when and where...
Everytime when I am facing problems or having happiness...
He will always there for me...
Maybe he is not perfect to you all..
But, he is perfect for me...
I mean... I know there is no one perfect in this world...
But when u found your true love...
U will realize that, when 2 unperfect person being together to fulfill each other, then they will become perfect...
And that is how I feel now...
Having him by my side is the greatest gift from God to me...
And I really thanks God for giving him to me...
He always know how to make me angry, cry... But he also know how to make me laugh...
He always know what I want and what I don't want...
He always try his best to give me everything I want...
And I really thanks him for that...
He, I really care...
He, I really miss...
He, I really love...
Being with him is the most wonderful life and memories in my life...
Thanks dear for being by my side...
I hope we can be together soon...
Really miss u...

Oktober 02, 2009

feelings

I have been in Melbourne almost 1 month...My dear didn’t follow... So, here I am alone... This has been the several times since he broke his promise and yet I didn’t even angry him... Not that I don’t care but I know deep in my heart... I know that he have tried his best... But then... When he broke this promise, I am really hurt... I just don’t know why... When I arrived here, the 1st day, I cried while chatting with him cause I miss him so much and I understand that I can’t like usual... See him whenever I want... I know he have suffer since started this relationship with me and yet he still continues... And for me, he is the best... And I will not stop this rerlation... I will always wait for him... I know... Sometimes I am so stubborn and so childish... but he still love me... With all his heart... I know it even he never told me before... I know he love me even he never say “I LOVE U” seriously... I just remember once he ever say it seriously... that is when I go for haircut and the hairdresser make me look dumb... And I cried in my dear’s arm and he said to me :” I don’t care how u look... I don’t care what is your hair style... I don’t care what others say... I will always love u..” And since then, I always say I LOVE U to him... And I realize that, he is the one that I’ve been looking for...Whenever I look at the sky here, I thought of him... How I hope I can share this beautiful scenery with him... Everytime when I see people holding their bf... How I hope I can hold him now... Everytime when I want to hear his voice, I have to hold... Cause if I call him, he will get roaming... It will cost him a lot... Everytime when I want to see him, I have to wait till night cos I always be home late... I miss his touch... I miss him... I miss his voice... I miss him so much... I hope I can meet him soon...

the day when we go buy present

About today... Ok... What I did today??? Many... Lots of thing... First I woke up at 7am today and I woke my dear up by calling his phone... But as usual.... I called for thousands of times but still no answer cos my dear = piggy hammy... Who like to sleep and wont be able to wake up fast... Hahaha... (Don’t angry dear)... Then I use my favourite and best way... That is to ask his mom to wake him up... Hahaha... At last... After 30 minutes of “war”, my dear woke up and go shower... After that I also directly go shower lor... And when I walked down the stairs, damn, my leg pain... My leg swallow... Gees... So pain... Then I walked slowly to the bathroom and shower... And went up to my room and prepare... Not long after that, my dear arrive at my house and we went to church... After church, we went to eat A&W... Yummy... Delicious... But at that moment, my leg really really hurts... My tummy also pain... Cause my “auntie” come... Hahaha... Then we suddenly remember want to buy present for my dear’s daddy... First we want to buy him the working shirt but suddenly we saw a mother and son wearing spongbob shirt and we suddenly shout out together that we want to buy that spongebob shirt for his daddy... hahaha... Very stupid... Then we walked and find the shirt but then my eye caught on to a Garfield statue... First I thought it was just a statue but then I asked to the girl and she said it’s a phone... Gees... So cute phone... So sad that I didnt take a picture of it... hahaha... After bought the Garfield phone, we went to a massage place to cure my leg and at last, my leg is wrapped like a steam piggy... Hahaha... We arrived there at 12 something and guess how long we waited... We waited for almost 1 and half hour... Gees... Wasting time... Tiring... Luckily my dear good... Ask me to sleep on his leg first... Hahhaa... This guy oso lor... Oledi know got so many patient still dont want to faster come out... HE IS NOT CURING PEOPLE... I DONT KNOW WHAT HE DO INSIDE HIS HOUSE SO LONG AND THERE ARE SO MANY PATIENT WAITING FOR HIM... Gees... So bad he let us all waited for him for so long... But nvm la... He can cure my leg... And he said that my leg is broken... Er... If I not mistaken lor... So he bandaged my leg lor... So pain... Even until now, the pain is still there... I cant do anything with it... Just pray so that it can be cure faster... Now I oledi got internet and own laptop... So happy... Hehehehe... Ok lar... By the way, Anyway, Busway... I will be in Melbourne for another 3 weeks... SO happy... But will be more happy if my dear can follow me lor... Hahaha... Ok la... Late le... Wanna sleep... Nitez... Bye...

September 06, 2009

D.I.E

Ok.. Another post about DIE... My other hamster die again... Now is the mother... The day before yesterday, my deaR put her in small cage cos she attack the baby... Ok... Since yesterday whole day, no on at his house... And when at night he go home, the hamster is bleeding... And it's because she born her dead baby... So sad... Then she born 8 babies in few hours cos the baby all die... She lost too much blood and this morning she passed away... I cried whole night until 2am then sleep... Even though like that, I still doesnt sleep well... I am really sad... Cause I love her so much... Sad...

September 04, 2009

NO INTERNET for.... 20 DAYS

Ok... I am going Melbourne soon... It's so soon that I left 3-4 days left in Jakarta... Hahaha... And guess what, my friend, Mely said, there will be no INTERNET for 20 DAYS long... OMG... How can I live without INTERNET????? Oh no... Then I have one thing pop out from my brain... Ting Ting... I will buy many many movies and bring there and watch it everytime when I dont have anything to do... Hahaha... Can u imagine someone like me living in a house with 20 days no internet??? How can I chat?? How can I update my FB?? How can I email?? At last, after that idea pop out, I directly go buy lots and lots of movie... Hahaha... Oledi done packing... No more thing to pack... And I am going to be a movie maniac... Hahaha... Ok... That's all... Wanna have my lunch... Oh internet, faster come...

Passed Away

Ok... U guys sure duno what passed away lor... Cause I havent say it out... But I really sad when I heard this news from my dear... Geesss... How can it possible!!!! Me and my dear have lots of hamster and 1 of the female hamster just gave birth last month... I think 3 weeks ago... 5 little hammy born and 3 normal (grey colour) and 2 golden (like it's name, it's golden colour)... The babies grown bigger and bigger... Grown cuter and cuter... But then... All of sudden... When I was in my sleep, this news came... My dear text me msg and say there's something happen to the hamster... The female hamster who gave birth to them (which is their mommy), bite one of the baby... Until the baby bleeding... ANd at last, because the bleeding doesnt stop, the baby passed away... !!!! OMG!!! How can that be??? I am so damn sad... I dont even have the mood to go play now... Actually I am planning to go DUFAN (Like Disneyland) But now, I really not in the mood... SO sad... Really dont want something like this to be happening... Then after that my dear punished the hammy mommy and put her in small cage and dont let her drink and eat for 12 hours... Huhuhu... But doing that also doesnt return the baby hammy to me... Baby hammy, I'm sorry I didnt take care of u well... I will pray for u so u will go to heaven... I love u baby hammy...

September 03, 2009

About August 31 2009

Talking bout August 31st 2009... It's past already... I got my Visa on that day... Hahaha... I am so so happy... I also issued my ticket to MELBOURNE!!!! Yipiiieee... I am going to Melbourne next week on Wednesday night... Ok... I know it's nothing to proud of but I do really proud of it...!!! U know why?? Cause my visa has been in the Embassy for more than 14 days and it really make me feel worried bout it... Geezz... I duno lar... But I am really scared that I dont get the Visa... Cause... When I go have my medical checkup, I am in bad condition... Which means I am sick... Ok, that will be a big problem because they said people sick cant go Australia... Damn... I hate to hear that... But luckily there no problem with my health... Which mean I AM ABLE TO GO MELBOURNE!!! The only thing that will make me sad is I have to leave Indonesia where my dear and mom is here... Ok, maybe I dont worry about my dear cause he said he will go after 1 month... But my mom?? Who will take care of her when she is sick?? Maybe someone will say my sis... But if we think of it, my sis DONT EVEN CARE bout my mom!!! Geeezzz... Last few days my mom is sick, and yet she dont even care of her...!!! What will happen if I am not here and my mom sick??? I just dont know... Geezz... So evil devil... I just can pray to GOD... So that GOD will let her change her attitude... By the way, talking bout GOD, HE really make so lots of miracle for me... Like, on Sunday, that is 2 days before my Visa been granted, I pray to GOD so that my visa will be granted the next day and yet, the next day, afternoon, my Visa is granted... Hahaha... See... HE loves me so much... And I love HIM so much... Thanks GOD for all the miracle YOU shown and gave me... And please keep continue giving me all the miracle...

Agustus 23, 2009

sunday...23rd august 2009

About today... Ok... What I did today??? Many... Lots of thing... First I woke up at 7am today and I woke my dear up by calling his phone... But as usual.... I called for thousands of times but still no answer cos my dear = piggy hammy... Who like to sleep and wont be able to wake up fast... Hahaha... (Don’t angry dear)... Then I use my favourite and best way... That is to ask his mom to wake him up... Hahaha... At last... After 30 minutes of “war”, my dear woke up and go shower... After that I also directly go shower lor... And when I walked down the stairs, damn, my leg pain... My leg swallow... Gees... So pain... Then I walked slowly to the bathroom and shower... And went up to my room and prepare... Not long after that, my dear arrive at my house and we went to church... After church, we went to eat A&W... Yummy... Delicious... But at that moment, my leg really really hurts... My tummy also pain... Cause my “auntie” come... Hahaha... Then we suddenly remember want to buy present for my dear’s daddy... First we want to buy him the working shirt but suddenly we saw a mother and son wearing spongbob shirt and we suddenly shout out together that we want to buy that spongebob shirt for his daddy... hahaha... Very stupid... Then we walked and find the shirt but then my eye caught on to a Garfield statue... First I thought it was just a statue but then I asked to the girl and she said it’s a phone... Gees... So cute phone... So sad that I didnt take a picture of it... hahaha... After bought the Garfield phone, we went to a massage place to cure my leg and at last, my leg is wrapped like a steam piggy... Hahaha... We arrived there at 12 something and guess how long we waited... We waited for almost 1 and half hour... Gees... Wasting time... Tiring... Luckily my dear good... Ask me to sleep on his leg first... Hahhaa... This guy oso lor... Oledi know got so many patient still dont want to faster come out... HE IS NOT CURING PEOPLE... I DONT KNOW WHAT HE DO INSIDE HIS HOUSE SO LONG AND THERE ARE SO MANY PATIENT WAITING FOR HIM... Gees... So bad he let us all waited for him for so long... But nvm la... He can cure my leg... And he said that my leg is broken... Er... If I not mistaken lor... So he bandaged my leg lor... So pain... Even until now, the pain is still there... I cant do anything with it... Just pray so that it can be cure faster... Now I oledi got internet and own laptop... So happy... Hehehehe... Ok lar... By the way, Anyway, Busway... I will be in Melbourne for another 3 weeks... SO happy... But will be more happy if my dear can follow me lor... Hahaha... Ok la... Late le... Wanna sleep... Nitez... Bye...

NB:Posted today becos last nite cant be post...

Agustus 22, 2009

My feeling

Have been busy recently... Besides, I have no mood to blog anyway... I am leaving next month... I am very very happy but I am sad too... Cause I will be going alone and my dear not going with me... Even I know he will go soon after I go, but I still do sad cos I'm gonna miss him so much... I know I am adult already and I should not be a crying baby but... After this whole 1 and half year having this relation with him, I can't lie to myself and say that I don't need him... Cause I really do need him... Not only for now... But forever... For the rest of my life... I need him... I want him... Someone who came into my life and change my life to a better life... To a more happy and colourful life... I love him so much... I just wanna be with him... Cause he is so perfect for me... Even sometimes he is childish and like to get angry without reason or angry easily... But I still do love him and I can't be far from him... I don't care even he sometimes make me cry or make me upset or make me angry... Cause I know he never do it purposely... I like him... Just one thing I don't like about him... he never open minded to me... Only sometimes after I force him... Hahaha... Ok... Dear, I really do love u... I also don't know why I love him... But, when I am near him, my hearts beat fast... My mind is full of him when he is not near me... When I don't have any news from him, I will be very worried... Even I know he is at home or with his friend but I really scare something bad happen to him... Cause I really scare to lost him... Every time when he started to get sick, I will be very worried... Cause I worried I can't meet him... I want to meet him everyday... I want to be with him everyday... That's what I feel... I really just want to be with him... I don't care he is rich or not... I don't care he is handsome or not... I don't care how he treats me... All I want is him... All I want is he to be with me for all my life... I really love him... So, God, please don't take him away from me... Cause I just want to live the rest of my life with him... I miss him so much... I love him so much... Thanks God cause You let me know him... Let me meet him... Let me be with him... Thanks God...

Agustus 14, 2009

Scare....Stress

I have applied for my Student Visa... Will be going to Australia on September early... I will be studying at Carrick... And one more important thing, I will not be going with my dear !!!! Gees... So sad and so scare... Hahaha... Hope everything will be fine lor... God bless me... I am scare to go alone... Really... As I dunno who will pick me up and I dun even know the road there... Gees... What am I supposed to do if I am lost in the city?? It will be very embrassing... OMG... I can't even think of it... What am I supposed to do if I met bad guy??? Who am I supposed to call if I need help?? Oh gosh... I really confused... Gees... Help me someone... So stress now... OMG...

Juli 30, 2009

Me... Melbourne...

Hai... I'm back... Gees... Been a long time I didn't blog... I am so so busy... So so depressed... So so tired... So so unhappy... But now, if seems like everything starts to go smoothly... I am so so glad that everything can go so smooth... Gees... I am going to Melbourne soon next month... I am so so happy... Ok... I know... I am going there for study + working... But who cares?? Gees... It's el... My friends are all there... I mean like Kuching's friends... Am so so happy... And my dear is going with me too... Yipiiieeeeee...

Ok... Now I want to say something bout this few months... On May... Ok... Day when I came back from my touring with LPPN friends in Bali... Bali... Yeah... A nice place for tourist and should and must be visited by everyone... It's city of paradise... A place for us to enjoy life... Yeah... I love Bali... A place that I love most among cities in Indonesia... Ok... This is the 2nd time I went to Bali and guess what, it's awesome... I learned to guide (cause it's a school toouring)... But yet I went to lots of memorable tourism place and enjoy the 1st time diving... Yeah... Diving is cool... I love it... Diving is expensive but from the photos I got and from the enjoyness that I got, it's worth it... Ok... After came back from Bali, my mom asked me to sit down and talk to her and here everything starts... Mom :" erm... I've been thingking of sending u to Australia...What do u think? " Me :" Oh...I love it... How bout going Melbourne?? My friends are there..." Mom :" Ok... U'll gotta find ur own school which u want to attend and find ur own stay..." Me:" No prob..." Ok... After this, here I start to find everything that I need and I found this Specta Education place when I went to shopping malls with my dear... And after chit chat a while, I think that it's good... And here I start to found Carrick Institute... Great... But I have to have my IELTS test for 5.5 minimal.. And I got 6.0... Yeah... I pass my IELTS and I start to put my name in for Carrick Advance Diploma Tourism Management... But then, few days ago, my mom change her mind to let me study tourism again... She ask me to study Hospitality... Ok... I listen to her cos I just want to go away from Indonesia... So, actually it's fine with me... Ok... So yesterday I got my offer letter for the hospitality... And mom said she will pay for it on Monday... Ok... Thanks GOD for this news...

For the Melbourne thing, I think tat's all... For me... Nothing is much more important than this Melbourne thing cause I really really want faster go Melbourne...

Tagged by Cathy ^^

Once you've been tagged, you have to answer all the question HONESTLY. Lastly choose 6 people to be tagged :)


1. How old were you when you had your first relationship ? --> 14 !_!
2. Are you taken/single? --> taken
3. Do you like anyone right now? --> yeah
4.. Ever had your heartbroken? --> of course
5. Miss anyone right now? --> yups...
6. Who was the last person you sent a text to? --> baby boy
7. Last person to text you? --> baby boy
8. Last person you saw? --> indah & mom
9. What was the last thing you said to someone? --> duno.. T_T
10. Who is top in your top friends? --> duno...
11. Who do you trust the most in your life? --> my boy.. ^^
12. Who do you love most? --> actually weird answer... GOD.. yes, i love HIM most...
13. Ever been in love? --> yeah...
14. Who has hurt you the most? --> mom maybe??
15. Has a tragedy ever happened in your life? --> tragedy like wad????
16. Are you happy? --> for now, yeah...**Going Melbourne soon man**
17. How many good friends do you have? --> ermmmm 3...
18. Are there some songs you cant listen to because they remind you of someone? --> nope...i love all songs...
19. Have you ever cheated on a partner? --> yeah... T_T
20. Ever been cheated on? --> yeah !_!
21. Ever been told someone loved you? --> yeahhhhh
22. Ever told someone you loved them and meant it? --> of course
23. Not meant it???? --> nope...
24. What is your idea of true love? --> i duno...i just found my true love like tat...
25. Do you believe in love at first sight? --> i doo...
26. Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love? --> i dont know..dun ask me...





you're tagged :
1. anton
2. renata
3. u sun
4. sze wei
5. bii
6. kartika

Juni 27, 2009

Memoriez of my brother

Today is 27th June 2009... Today I remember everything about my brother and my child time... Suddenly, I miss my brother... And I suddenly felt the love from my brother to me...

Remember when I was still baby, there's something on my armpit until my hand can't put down cause the thing is as big as egg... My mom brought me see doctor and if want to have surgery, it will cause a lot... So my mom thinking of surgery me herself... Ok... Then here the surgery start... My mom prepare the surgery tools and my dad prepare the alcohol... Dunno what's that for la... Then here comes the surgery time... My mom grabbed my arm and just cut it off... The blood splash all over her face and shirt and I started to cry... And my brother who sit aside watching, also start crying... My dad looks at me and felt sad... So, he ask my mom let me go 1st... Just calm me down... But u know baby lar... Wont stop so fast... So, I kept crying till almost fainted... Hahaha... Then my mom grabbed me again and clean the blood and all... My brother just come near my mom and bite her hand cause he felt sad see me cry till like that... Haha... From here, I feel my brother love me so much...

Another one is when I'm adult liao... My brother always cook for me dinner or lunch and if I need him, he always there for me... He love me more than anyone... He directly pick me up everytime I called him... He stay awake just to wait me home... He rush home just to cook me dinner... Bro, I love u... Thanks for all the love u gave me... I'm sad cos we are now far apart... I really hope u are here with me to share everything with me... Laugh with me, cry with me... Joke with me... Anything... I miss every moment we spent together... Why life so mean to us?? Why life have to separate us?? Ko, u know that I never can be close to Tika as I am close to u... Please come back to me... Cos, I want to share everything with u... Every single story of my life... Every part of my days... Just to share it with u...

Ko, take care of urself there...

Love,

May

April 24, 2009

To U SUN

This blog is posted for a best friend of mine who just lost her beloved one...

Dear, maybe for u it's a hardest thing to accept n it's hard for u to carry on ur life without that special someone... But I just want to let u know something... Life is urs... With or without that special someone, u still need to carry on... Ok... Even that special someone is ur dad... Actually, for me... With or without my parents, actually it's the same... Cos I'm borned in differrent family with urs... Who love u and care for u so much... U grown up in a good family... Not like me... I guess u know what I mean... I know saying parents is not the only thing in this earth is wrong but without them, u still need to get on ur life... Keep on thinking on the past isn't good for u... While u r here wasting ur time thinking of the past, others r going 1 step further than u... So, dont waste ur time thinking of the past but keep ur step to the future... People staying on the earth is for future... Not for the past... Even u keep thinking of it, ur dad won't be able to come back... Why not u step forward and let ur dad see that u can??!! I'm saying all this cos I love u... We have been friends for almost 14 years... And I'm sad to see u so moody... So, cheear up... I bet ur dad also wish to see u and ur family happy... If got anything, just msg me... Cos I'll owes be here for u... I promise...

From ur 14 years friend...

No Title

Have been crying recently... Until my eyes really really tired... Writing on this blog, I have no idea wanna type what... My brain is empty... N so do my soul... I am gone to far far away kingdom... I just dont know what should I do now... This 2 days having exam and it's quite easy and I can make it... Hmmmzzz... Really dont know what to type even there's so many thing I want to say out... That's all... Really empty brain now...

April 17, 2009

Masih Mencintaimu

Masih Mencintaimu (Still Loving You)
by Gruvi

Salahku putuskan cintamu
(It's my fault that I broke your love)
Ku sesali itu
(I regret that)
Pergi meninggalkan dirimu
(Leaving you)
Kini ku merindukanmu
(Now I'm missing you)


Chorus:
Sayang maafkanlah diriku
(Baby, please forgive me)
Ku tahu ku salah menyakitimu
(I knew I'm wrong that I've hurt you)
Sayang terimalah aku lagi
(Baby please accept me again)
Ku masih mencintaimu
(I still love you)

Aku memang tak sempurna
(I am not perfect)
Ku sadari itu
(I realized that)
Ampuni semua kebodhanku
(Forgive all my dumbness)
Ku tak bisa hidup tanpamu
(I can't live without you)

Chorus repeat2x...


On top is a song that I heard few days ago which I think it's nice and I want all of you to know the meaning so I translate it... Can go try listen the song... It's nice... I mean the meaning... It's about a guy who realized that he really broke his gf heart... OMG... And the 1st time I heard this song is from Audition... When I'm playing with my ex... Hahaha... He dedicated this song for me... Ok... I'm not touch... Just feel that I like this song cause of the meaning which is so so touching... Hahahaha... So long didn't come in my blog and updated... Sorry... Busy this few days... Cause many exam and I have to prepare all the guiding stuff... I am going crazy now... Hahaha... Now I am having weekend... Which I will spent by watching DVD till sot... Hahaha... Btw anyway busway... My hamster named Stuwie passed away again... OMG... She just borned baby... 5 hammy babies... And after a week, she died... And followed by 2 babies 3 days later and 3 babies after again... OMG... So pity them... But my dear promise he will buy me another golden hammy so that our hammy got many types... Hehe... Thanks dear... And 2 days ago, cause dear do something naughty to me, he bought me mi cash for audition... OMG... I love it... Thanks dear... I love you so much... Ok... That's all... Wanna start my weekend relaxing day...

April 04, 2009

T.A.G by U sun

1. Beside your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
my forehead..^^

2.How did feel when you woke up this morning ?

Lazy to wakie...

3.Who is the last person you took a photo with ?

my dear...erm..last week maybe...

4.Would you consider yourself to be spoiled ?
yes...by my dear...haha..n some of my cousins...

5.Would you ever donate blood ?
nope..dun have the chance cos everytime when wanna donate, owes AUNTY come or I m eating medicine...so cant...

6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
Yupz...Lots of them.. Uncountable...

7.Do you want someone to die ?
Stupid!!! U want others to die kah?? Dumb Dumb Question!!!

8.What does your last text message say ?
Giling... Bwt di pke lo?? (u guys for sure dun understand la) hahaha...

9.What are you thinking now ??
who make this stupid question....

10.Do you wish someone was with you now ?
Of cos la...

1.What time did you go to sleep last night ?
11.30pm...

12.Where did you buy the T-shirt that you are wearing now ?
T shirt from mom... Pants I think oso.. T shirt from LA... Pants from Malaysia...

13.Is someone in your mind now ?

Mr Ticketing... Hahaha...

14.Who was the last person to text you ?
Rachela Dearta...

10 PEOPLE TAGGED TO DO THIS QUESTIONNAIRE.

  1. Anton
  2. Cathy
  3. Jos
  4. Kaito
  5. Sze Wei
  6. Zie
  7. Rena
  8. Emily Yii
  9. I sun
  10. Emily Lai

15.Who is no.2 having relationship with ?
(Cathy) With Allan...

16.Is no.3 a male or female ?
(Jos) Of cos female la... if she is not then I duno who is...Hahaha...

17.If no.7 and no.10 together, would it be a good thing ?
Rena and Emily Lai).No la... They dun even know each other... Beside they are not LESBIAN!!!

18.What is no.1 studying about ?
(Anton) Stupid useless Computer major...

19.When was the last time u chat with them ?
duno lar....recently maybe...

20.Is no.4 single ?
(Kaito) Nope I think...

21.Say something about no.5 .
(Sze Wei) dark n skinny gal but very happy all the time...miss her...

22.What do you think about no.3 and no.6 being together ?

(Jos n zie) nope...impossible...cos they are both Gal...

23.Describe no.9 .

(I sun) Cute young gal...but now adult le...

24.What would you do if no.6 and no.8 fought ?
(zie n EMily Yii) No way..Cant be...

April 01, 2009

B.E.L.I.E.V.E

Believe...
Today's title is believe...
I oso duno y I type this word on the 1st letter...
Maybe... I feel tat mst people duno what believe means...
1... I dun like people lie to me... Cos I owes believe in others...
Liar is an asshole for me... I hate liars...
Yeah... And recently... I kept facing these jerks...
Jerks tat I still said they are my friends...
But I duno I still can believe them or not...
Maybe it's hard cos I never will believe people when they start to lie on me...
And I dun like when others dun believe me...
Unless I ever lied to them...
Like my dear...
I never lie to him but he never believe in me...
I duno why... Maybe he is like tat...
I duno what happen until he dun believe me...
But for sure, it hurts me...
Well... Think like this...
U r in a relationship with someone and tat someone doesnt believe u at all...
How u feel???
O M G... Oh Mi Gosh... I hate tat...
But wad can I do???
If he really dun wan to believe me, I just can accept it...
No one can say anything bout it cos it's others right to believe in us or not...
I duno wad should I do so that he believe in me...
Love without believe...
I duno... I duno wad to say...
Maybe I am too weak to protess bout it...
I owes accept wad others do to me...
I just dun dare to say anything tat I dun like others ask me...
GOD, please bring me with U... Cos I need U in me...

Maret 30, 2009

Life recently...

Just wanna said bout life recently... I am quite happy... Life recently is nice... Happy... Comfortable... Enjoyable... Nice... That's what I can said... I love my life recently... Nothing to think bout... Just some assignment... Like today... Where I forget totally about this Bali assignment... hahaha... Luckily I got time until 2pm... At last I handed it but I have to skip one class... So... It's ok lar... At least later when go Bali I can have guiding... Then just now went swimming with fren... So nice... Love swimming... I cant wait to go Bali cos at Bali got LAKSA... Yummy... I miss LAKSA... Oh LAKSA... Wait for me... Hahaha...

Life recently nice cos... I handed everything to GOD... Where I accept all HIS arrangement... I miss HIM... GOD... Thanks for arranging all this thing for me...

On 26th April (Sunday), I will go to Bali for touring... I mean we learn to be guide in Bali... But got one day free program where I can go anywhere I like... I hope that my bro can accompany me... Hahaha... N also his wife who is kind... Hehehe... But I have to be separate with my dear for 5 days... Sad Sad... N sunday I cant go with my dear cos I will go to Bali early morning... Sad Sad... Never so long been far far away from my dear... I'm going to far far away kingdom to find Shriek... Hahaha... But never mind... Cos I want eat Kuching LAKSA... For just this one time... OMG... Have been 3-4 years I didnt eat LAKSA... LAKSA, I'm coming... Dear, I'm sorry... I want eat LAKSA... Hahaha...

I'm tired now... Wanna rest... Cos I am sick... I get to be sick easily within this few months after that incident where I eaten wrongly... Which makes my tummy pain till I went to hospital... But I'm ok lar... Cos I still can continue doing my assignment and handed in on time... Thanks GOD... Ok le... Bye...

P/S : Sorry long time no update... NO time...

Maret 28, 2009

D.I.E

Sad Sia... My hamster named Bubu passed away yesterday... I duno what time cos I arrived my dear house at 8.30 something and when we realized, it's oledi around 9.00... So sad... It's a male hamster... My dear said the other bigger male hamster named Stuart eat it... I duno lar... So sad... I yesterday keep EMO and I hit the big hamster... U know, the big hamster is the dad of Bubu... Sad sad... Bubu now is in heaven... With another hamster name Stuwie... I miss them... Cos they are damn cute... Bubu just borned one month ago... He havent even see outside world... Gosh... So pity Bubu... Bubu, u must not sad... U must be strong up there... Mommy is here praying for u... Bubu is a cute hamster... He is quite fatty and when he walks, his butt will run here n there... So cute... U cant imagine my hamster will be tat fatty and cute... I really miss my Bubu... Bubu, be happy up there k?? Btw, Bubu is buried under a plant at my dear house...

Bubu, daddy n mommy miss u n love u... Bye dear Bubu....

Maret 20, 2009

21.03.2008

Itz us...
On 21st January 2008... We started this relationship...
We started to love each other...
We started to know each other more...
We started to understand each other more...
Today, is our 14th month anniversary...
I just cant believe it...
I know most people will think that 14 months only... Nothing la...
I know...
14 months is not long...
But it's not short...
For me, it's long...
Cos I never had such a long time relationship with someone...
Before... The longest one is only bout 8-9 months...
Now it's 14 months...
Gosh...
I know... In this 14 months u have been so patient to me...
I know most of the time I make u angry, sad and unhappy...
But u always be so patient to me...
Thank you...
I never know what true love is until I met u...
Remember once... When I was in hospital for 1 week...
U always there for me...
U always accompany me every nite...
Without saying anything...
U always there to cheer me up...
To make me feel not pain...
To make me feel better...
Ever once I'm going for endoscopy, u calm me down...
U never leave me...
And remember one nite I get weird cos of the medicine...
U still try to calm me down...
U never angry me...
Thank you...
Maybe I am not as best as u wish...
But I will try to be the best...
For now, later, future...
U R MINE...
Forever...
U r my True Love...


From :
Ur love one...