No. title....

Living here in Melbourne...
All alone...
Even there are friends, but I just can't stand to be sad...
Sometimes people are so so kind that they ask me out..
But... sometimes... I just need to be alone...
Cos there is time that I need to be myself...
I don't know why...
But infront of people...
All I can do is putting a fake smile..
A mask on my face...
Telling everyone that I am just doing great...
Without them noticing that I am so sad...
Cos since small, all I wanted to do is making everyone around me to be happy...
Maybe... No one ever notice this...
But there is this guy who notice it ever since we met...
He is the one who always there for me...
He is the one who always wipe off my tears...
He is the one who always listen to me...
He is God... Who always never leave me...
When I 1st knew Him, I never thought He will be so kind to me...
But then, He treat me as His daughter...
Being His daughter is the most greatful thing in my life...
Having a fake smile is something that I can do so easily...
I just don't know why...
Sometimes, I heard Him saying be yourself...
But, sometimes, I just can't be myself...
Everyone around me thought that I live a nice and happy life...
And I want to keep it like that...
Ever someone said to me :" Don't wait for others to talk to u but u should go and talk to others.."
But does he know that I... Just want to be quiet?
I don't really like talking... I don't know why...
But that happen since I am young...
I can't talk too much and I rather stay quiet...


Today in church we don't have sunday class...
But then we got some program...
Gong Rong is bringing us all for a prayer class...
And this day... When he say talk to myself...
All I can say to myself is, don't put a mask anymore...
Deep in my heart, I am so so suffer...
I want to cry out loud...
I want to be like everyone...
Laugh when you are happy...
Cry when u are sad...
Sometimes, I just wanted to shout out loud...
That's the reason I love beach and mountains...

Every guy who dates me will ask me curiously why I don't like shopping...
Yup... I am not like other normal girls who like shopping...
Who can shops all day long and wasting thousands dollar a day...
I just like beach and mountain...
I like to see the miracle that God create...
I feel that I am happy when I am in those places...
I am myself when I am there...
I can cry and laugh... And no one cares...
Being not myself for so many years...
It's the hardest thing to do...
But then, I've made it and make it as a routine...

God, I am sorry that sometimes I just forget about You...
But thanks to You cos You never leave me...
You always give me miracle in my life...
I don't know about others life...
But in my life, God always gives me miracle...
No matter how big or small it is, it always make me back to Him whenever I am lost...