No. title....

Living here in Melbourne...
All alone...
Even there are friends, but I just can't stand to be sad...
Sometimes people are so so kind that they ask me out..
But... sometimes... I just need to be alone...
Cos there is time that I need to be myself...
I don't know why...
But infront of people...
All I can do is putting a fake smile..
A mask on my face...
Telling everyone that I am just doing great...
Without them noticing that I am so sad...
Cos since small, all I wanted to do is making everyone around me to be happy...
Maybe... No one ever notice this...
But there is this guy who notice it ever since we met...
He is the one who always there for me...
He is the one who always wipe off my tears...
He is the one who always listen to me...
He is God... Who always never leave me...
When I 1st knew Him, I never thought He will be so kind to me...
But then, He treat me as His daughter...
Being His daughter is the most greatful thing in my life...
Having a fake smile is something that I can do so easily...
I just don't know why...
Sometimes, I heard Him saying be yourself...
But, sometimes, I just can't be myself...
Everyone around me thought that I live a nice and happy life...
And I want to keep it like that...
Ever someone said to me :" Don't wait for others to talk to u but u should go and talk to others.."
But does he know that I... Just want to be quiet?
I don't really like talking... I don't know why...
But that happen since I am young...
I can't talk too much and I rather stay quiet...


Today in church we don't have sunday class...
But then we got some program...
Gong Rong is bringing us all for a prayer class...
And this day... When he say talk to myself...
All I can say to myself is, don't put a mask anymore...
Deep in my heart, I am so so suffer...
I want to cry out loud...
I want to be like everyone...
Laugh when you are happy...
Cry when u are sad...
Sometimes, I just wanted to shout out loud...
That's the reason I love beach and mountains...

Every guy who dates me will ask me curiously why I don't like shopping...
Yup... I am not like other normal girls who like shopping...
Who can shops all day long and wasting thousands dollar a day...
I just like beach and mountain...
I like to see the miracle that God create...
I feel that I am happy when I am in those places...
I am myself when I am there...
I can cry and laugh... And no one cares...
Being not myself for so many years...
It's the hardest thing to do...
But then, I've made it and make it as a routine...

God, I am sorry that sometimes I just forget about You...
But thanks to You cos You never leave me...
You always give me miracle in my life...
I don't know about others life...
But in my life, God always gives me miracle...
No matter how big or small it is, it always make me back to Him whenever I am lost...

Miss Him

I miss him so much...
He is not by my side...
I feel weird with this situation...
Have been far away from him for 1 month liao...
Really miss him...
1 month without him very hard to past...
Cause I have him beside me for 1 year and 8 months liao...
Within this 1 year and 8 months..
He always by my side no matter when and where...
Everytime when I am facing problems or having happiness...
He will always there for me...
Maybe he is not perfect to you all..
But, he is perfect for me...
I mean... I know there is no one perfect in this world...
But when u found your true love...
U will realize that, when 2 unperfect person being together to fulfill each other, then they will become perfect...
And that is how I feel now...
Having him by my side is the greatest gift from God to me...
And I really thanks God for giving him to me...
He always know how to make me angry, cry... But he also know how to make me laugh...
He always know what I want and what I don't want...
He always try his best to give me everything I want...
And I really thanks him for that...
He, I really care...
He, I really miss...
He, I really love...
Being with him is the most wonderful life and memories in my life...
Thanks dear for being by my side...
I hope we can be together soon...
Really miss u...

feelings

I have been in Melbourne almost 1 month...My dear didn’t follow... So, here I am alone... This has been the several times since he broke his promise and yet I didn’t even angry him... Not that I don’t care but I know deep in my heart... I know that he have tried his best... But then... When he broke this promise, I am really hurt... I just don’t know why... When I arrived here, the 1st day, I cried while chatting with him cause I miss him so much and I understand that I can’t like usual... See him whenever I want... I know he have suffer since started this relationship with me and yet he still continues... And for me, he is the best... And I will not stop this rerlation... I will always wait for him... I know... Sometimes I am so stubborn and so childish... but he still love me... With all his heart... I know it even he never told me before... I know he love me even he never say “I LOVE U” seriously... I just remember once he ever say it seriously... that is when I go for haircut and the hairdresser make me look dumb... And I cried in my dear’s arm and he said to me :” I don’t care how u look... I don’t care what is your hair style... I don’t care what others say... I will always love u..” And since then, I always say I LOVE U to him... And I realize that, he is the one that I’ve been looking for...Whenever I look at the sky here, I thought of him... How I hope I can share this beautiful scenery with him... Everytime when I see people holding their bf... How I hope I can hold him now... Everytime when I want to hear his voice, I have to hold... Cause if I call him, he will get roaming... It will cost him a lot... Everytime when I want to see him, I have to wait till night cos I always be home late... I miss his touch... I miss him... I miss his voice... I miss him so much... I hope I can meet him soon...

the day when we go buy present

About today... Ok... What I did today??? Many... Lots of thing... First I woke up at 7am today and I woke my dear up by calling his phone... But as usual.... I called for thousands of times but still no answer cos my dear = piggy hammy... Who like to sleep and wont be able to wake up fast... Hahaha... (Don’t angry dear)... Then I use my favourite and best way... That is to ask his mom to wake him up... Hahaha... At last... After 30 minutes of “war”, my dear woke up and go shower... After that I also directly go shower lor... And when I walked down the stairs, damn, my leg pain... My leg swallow... Gees... So pain... Then I walked slowly to the bathroom and shower... And went up to my room and prepare... Not long after that, my dear arrive at my house and we went to church... After church, we went to eat A&W... Yummy... Delicious... But at that moment, my leg really really hurts... My tummy also pain... Cause my “auntie” come... Hahaha... Then we suddenly remember want to buy present for my dear’s daddy... First we want to buy him the working shirt but suddenly we saw a mother and son wearing spongbob shirt and we suddenly shout out together that we want to buy that spongebob shirt for his daddy... hahaha... Very stupid... Then we walked and find the shirt but then my eye caught on to a Garfield statue... First I thought it was just a statue but then I asked to the girl and she said it’s a phone... Gees... So cute phone... So sad that I didnt take a picture of it... hahaha... After bought the Garfield phone, we went to a massage place to cure my leg and at last, my leg is wrapped like a steam piggy... Hahaha... We arrived there at 12 something and guess how long we waited... We waited for almost 1 and half hour... Gees... Wasting time... Tiring... Luckily my dear good... Ask me to sleep on his leg first... Hahhaa... This guy oso lor... Oledi know got so many patient still dont want to faster come out... HE IS NOT CURING PEOPLE... I DONT KNOW WHAT HE DO INSIDE HIS HOUSE SO LONG AND THERE ARE SO MANY PATIENT WAITING FOR HIM... Gees... So bad he let us all waited for him for so long... But nvm la... He can cure my leg... And he said that my leg is broken... Er... If I not mistaken lor... So he bandaged my leg lor... So pain... Even until now, the pain is still there... I cant do anything with it... Just pray so that it can be cure faster... Now I oledi got internet and own laptop... So happy... Hehehehe... Ok lar... By the way, Anyway, Busway... I will be in Melbourne for another 3 weeks... SO happy... But will be more happy if my dear can follow me lor... Hahaha... Ok la... Late le... Wanna sleep... Nitez... Bye...