BabY^GirL

ordinary girl with ordinary life

2010-03-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

I am a girl
Just an ordinary girl
Who can fall in love
Who can get hurt
Who can roll down the tears
Who can smile
I am a girl
Just an ordinary girl
Who try to live an ordinary life
But everything change to extraordinary at the moment u appear
U made my life extraordinary
U taught me lots of things
U taught me how to face this crue...l world
And i dont know since when started
I started to depends on u
U are always the first to appear in my mind when i am unhappy
U are always the first to cheer me up
U are always there when i need u
But now u left my world
And make me back to my old life
Where i belong to
I am just a girl
An ordinary girl
Living an ordinary life
Without u who make it extraordinary

someone in heaven

2010-03-22T17:30:00.001-07:00

U told me its time to say goodbye
And i just roll down my first tears
And u wipe it off
Telling me to stay happy
Even u are not the reason behind my happiness
U told me that u will never l
eave me
And u promise once i still love u
U will always be with me
But now where is your promise
Do u know that i still love u
U told me not t...o cry
So that u can see my smile for the last time
I started to hate this reality
That u have to leave me forever
But i know i cant do anything
U requested me to tell u that i dont love u anymore
So that u can leave with peace
Leave the world that i am inside
But how can i say that
When i still truely deeply in love with u
But i know i have to say it
For u someone who i love
And at the last moment
Right before u give ur last breath
I bend down my body
And kiss ur lips for the last time
And whispered in ur ears and tell u that
I dont love u anymore
I can see ur smile on ur charming face
For the last time before the white cloths close ur face
And i know that u left my world
Not for a day a week or a month
But forever

sky, ocean and wind

2010-03-22T17:29:00.001-07:00

Skies are big
Oceans are deep
Wind are strong
And so do my love
My love is bigger than sky
Deeper than the oceans
Stronger than the wind
And itz all because i am in love with u
No one else can make my love so amazing
Only u someone who is so special
U never know how special u are to me
Maybe u are just a bastard in other's eyes
Ma...ybe u are just a jerk in other's mouths
But u are the most charming prince for me
No one can ever replace u in my heart
And right now
I wanna asked the wind to bring my message to u
Telling u that i miss u so much
Asked the sky to give u my hug
And asked the ocean to show u how deep is my love

someone new

2010-03-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

I gave him my heart
He gave it away
And now i am a soul without a heart
But now i am filled again
With someone else's heart
And now some feeling came again
It makes my heart beats so fast
Makes me smile all the time
Just so happy and so excited
And this mind started to think of other one
And that one is no more him
And i once ag...ain alive
Living in another colourful life
Without him who gave my heart away
But with someone who give his heart to me

good friend to lover

2010-03-22T17:26:00.001-07:00

We are good friends
We hang out often
We chat and joke often
Without me knowing
He is in love with me
Being with him makes me happy
I laughed and smile often
I started to get jealous when I see him with other girl
And I realize that
I like him too
He is tall and I am short
He is cute and I am ugly
He is rich and I am poor
But this ...all doesnt matter
When love come
Everything will put aside
He propose and I accepted
With all the penguins as the witnesses
In the middle of the sea
With the wind blowing hard
And the sky giving sign
That he is the one for me
We started this love path
And hand in hand we will be together
To go through every problems
And we smile to each other
And with the pigeons as witnesses
Lips to lips stick together
And that is when and where
We started our journey

a silly girl

2010-03-18T22:00:00.004-07:00

I am a silly girl
To stay with u even i know we dont have future
I stayed right here whenever u need me
I am always there for u
I never care how much u hurt me
I never care how many times this tears flow
All i know is ur happiness
As long as u are happy
And everything is fine with me
I dont mind that u have another girl beside... u
I dont care how much u love her
As log as i can stay beside u
Then everything is fine with me
I know i am just a silly girl
To stay with u even u dont care about me
I just want to see ur smile
And everything is fine with me

do u ever know

2010-03-18T22:00:00.003-07:00

If there is one reason that can keep my smile
That one reason is u
Do u ever know the truth that u are always the reason behind my smile?
Do u know that i always smile when i think of u?
Do u know that only u can make my world go upside down?
Do u know that u are the rainbow of my life?
I hope one day u will know all this tr...uth
That i actually write all this things while thinking of u
And hope u know that
I am the only one
The only girl
Who love u truely
With all my heart
And all my soul
Forever and ever

u

2010-03-18T22:00:00.001-07:00

The only smile that i wanna see
Is the smile of urs
The only hug that i wanna get
Is the hug of urs
The only lips that i wanna kiss
Is the lips of urs
The only thing that i want
Is to be with u
And the only person that i love
Is u

i actually love u

2010-03-18T21:59:00.002-07:00

Whenever i met u
I started talking about other guys
Not because i love them all
But because i wanna make u jealous
And whenever u talked about other girls
This heart start paining
Because i love u too much
But u never realize that i love u
All u know is i am ur best friend
And once i still have the oppurtunity to stay as friend...
I will always stay as friend
Cause i dun wanna ruin our friendship
Just for love
Cos i m not ready to lose u yet
I'd stay beside u
As ur true friend
Until the day u realize
That i actually love u

u never know

2010-03-18T21:59:00.001-07:00

U once leave my world
Leaving me with all the scars u made
With all the pains
U pour salt on it
Without knowing how does it feel
And i tried my best
To cure my own scars
And tried to forget u
But then all the efforts are a waste now
Cause u came into my life once again
And make me fall in love Once again to u
And now i dont know... what to do
I just want to be with u
No matter what's my status
No matter what position i stand in ur heart
As long as i am with u
As long as i know u need me
As long as i am still in ur heart
Everything doesnt matter
And i will always try my best to cheer u up
Try my best to be with u whenever u need me
Try my best to be the best for u
Even without u knowing how hurt i am feeling
Even without u knowing how i truely feel for u

stay here

2010-03-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

I dont know how u felt for me
And i dont dare to ask nor expect anything
Cause i am not as brave as before
Everytime when u kiss my forehead
I felt the love u gave me
But i really dont dare to expect anything from u
I love the way u kiss my forehead
I love the way u touch my skin
I love the way u care for me
I love the way u pl...ay with my hair
I love the way u hug me tight
I love everything that u done to me
Caude the fact is that
I love u so much
I cant tell u how much i love u
Cause i dun wanna lose u again
I am satisfy enough even we just stay like this
Not as friend and not as lover too
But i really cant bear to lose u anymore
Let me just stay right here
To love u all the time
I am willing to let go everything
Just give me one chance
To stay here and love u till the end of my life

if only

2010-03-18T21:57:00.001-07:00

I woke up in the morning
With smile on my face
Cause i dreamt of u
Me beloved guy
I dreamt that we are together
Hands in hands walking down the street
Everyone looking at us with the jealous face
How perfect we are
But that is only a dreamt
Only my own dreamt
If only that is true
I will be the most happiest girl ever
If only i cou...ld say i love u
Then u will be mine now
But that 1 sentence, 3 words and 8 letters are so hard to come out from my lips
Cause remembering that it ever happened once
And u left my world
And now hardly u come back
I will not let u go easily
I will keep u beside me
Even if u only look for me when u need me
Even if u only u are back to hurt me
I dont care for anything
Cos u r the only one that i care
Only u and always u

only u

2010-03-18T21:56:00.000-07:00

I open your page everyday i woke up
It has been my daily things to do
Whenever i feel upset
I will just look at ur picture
Read thru all the messages
And my smile come crossed again
Whenever this tears gonna roll off
I started to think of u
All the 1001 ways u used to keep my smile
Even right now after months of ignorance
When n...ow we met again
U are still the same u
Using lots of ways
To just keep my smile
Putting so much effort to make me smile
Without knowing the simple way
Which is to accept my love and love me back
With that way
I can smile every single minute even in my sleep
But i dont expect that u will love me back
Cause u told me that u will never fall in love
And i will only stay beside u
To be the very first person that u remembered whenever u need somoene to talk to
And i promise u
That i will never leave a single step
Not before u ask me to leave
I will stay right here forever
I promise

it started with a smile

2010-03-18T21:55:00.001-07:00

It started with a smile
Started with a hug
And started with a simple wish
With that 3 simple things
U made me fall in love with u
From the very first time i met u
This heart has belong to u
U never realize how u sneak into my heart and soul
U always tell me how bad u are
U always warn me that u are a jerk
But i never care nor be...lieve
Cause u always makes me smile with ur own ways
I just wanna stay with u
No matter what is the risk
Just to be with u
Even there are thousand and millions people who dont agree
But i dont care
Cause its between u and me
They dont know how much u mean to me and they will never know
This heart and soul
Has belong to u since the day i met u
And no one will replace u in my heart
Till the day u walk out my life by urself

forget u

2010-03-17T18:17:00.001-07:00

From the day that i met u
My life has been so colourful
From the day that i met u
I appreciate life more
But now when u r gone
The sun has set too
And the sky just keep raining
And this heart keep bleeding
Trying my best to forget u but its too hard
Wherever i go and whatever i do
It makes me think of u
Everything here remind me ...of u
The only thing to make myself sleep well at night is
To get drunk and forget everything
Forget that u left my world
Forget that u are gone

Just for u

2010-03-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to past but its about learning to dance in the rain...
And i learn this dance from u
Someone special in my world
And for u i face this world
With the best smile i can give
And no one will know that
I am giving the fake smile
Cause when i am alone
This tears will start rolling
And when i am... with people
This smile will stay there
But i will still remember
Everything that u have taught me
I will live this life
For u
Just for u

Hurt by u

2010-03-15T03:04:00.001-07:00

Today i realize something
That i shouldnt be with u
U have thousands and millions of excuses for every mistakes u have done
And i always give u all my forgiveness
But again and again
U hurt this heart
Again and again
U make this tears flows
And i dont know how much longer i can stand
To be hurt by u
I know i am a silly girl
To k...eep forgiving u
For every mistakes that u have done
But i really dont know how to stop
I dont know how to leave u
This heart has stick to u
And it is no longer in me
But i never regret that i met
And i knew u
Cause u are part of my colourful life
Even u always hurt me
But yet this heart still wanna be with u
I really hope that u know
That i really truely love u
With all my heart and soul
No matter how many times u hurt me
But i will still be with u
Forever and ever

By your side

2010-03-14T22:43:00.001-07:00

Missing you...
Right this moment...
When I am all alone...
This mind keeps thinking of you...
I can't stop this mind from cherishing all the memories we had...
What can I do to have you back in my life???
I just want you to be with me...
Even we are not lover...
At least let me stay beside you...
To hear and listen all your sor...row and happiness...
To all your problems...
To be the one you wanna talk to when you feel like talking...
I don't mind to be under your shadow...
As long as I know you are there with me...
As I don't know how to face this world...
Without you by my side...
This world is empty...
This world has no more colour...
Since the day you went out of my life...
I don't know what this world meant to me anymore...
Cause since the day I met you...
You are all the reason I wake up in the morning...
You are the reason I keep smiling...
You are all the reason I live my life...
I want all the memories to stay alive...
Once more...
Just once more...
As I don't know how long we are going to stay alive...
I want to spend all my life...
Just with you...
By your side...

U r Gone

2010-03-14T22:42:00.001-07:00

Today when i woke up
I open my eyes
And i found out
That u r not laying beside me
I keep searching
But i still cant find u
And just at that very moment
I realize that
U have gone away from my life
But till now
I still cant accept the truth
That u left
Cause i still can feel u
Feel u r beside me
Whenever i am sad
I will look for u
Cau...se i get used to ur jokes
That makes me laugh all the time
But now
Everything is gone
If i can hope for one thing
I would hope that u stay here
Right beside me
Forever and ever

One Wish

2010-03-14T22:40:00.000-07:00

If i could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday,
To the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheek,
The touch of fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you...

The day u walked out

2010-03-14T22:38:00.001-07:00

Since the day u walk out of my life
I cant feel the rainbow of life anymore
No matter how hard i tried
But still everythig back to black n white
I dont know the reason u walk out
But i know once u dont belong to others
I still have the chance to make u mine
When i dont look for u
U came and look for me
This means that i m stil...l in ur mind and heart
And for this reason
I wont stop loving u
People will say i'm stupid
To love a machine like u
Who dont deserve my life
But when they know how wonderful u are
They will realize that u r my rainbow
Rainbow of my life
Being with u is the only thing i want
Cos i know i wont have another rainbow
To fill my black n white life
Just to be with u
Makes my world merry goes round
Come back to me will u
Let me love u once more time
With all my heart and soul

To love n being love

2010-03-14T22:36:00.001-07:00

Laying here alone
Wishing that u are here with me
To give me all the warmth that i felt before
Being love by u is the only thing that makes me happy
How i hope u know what i feel for u
Telling u how much i love u
Is the only thing that i wanted to do now
Being with u forever is the only thing i wish to do
I always pray to God
So... that u will stay with me
Forever and ever
So that u will know how much i love u
So that u will know that i miss u so much
I miss all the things that u been through with me
Without them my life is nothing
I miss u and i really do
I just wanna shout to the world
Telling them that i love u so much

Here to love u

2010-03-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

I had love at first sight with u
I love u since the first time i met u
U came close to me
U hug me tight
U tell me not to fall in love with u
And i kept telling u that
I wont fall in love with u
But then i realize i am just lying
Cos i am deeply madly in love with u
And now when u know the truth
U are gone
U left my world
And this... is the risk that i should take
For loving someone like u
But then i never regret
That i met u and knew u
Cause loving u is the best thing in my life
Even now i cant be close to u anymore
But i will always pray for ur happiness
And i am willing to change my happiness
Just to see u happy
Cause when i see u happy
I am happy too
My love
Do u know how much i love u and miss u
I miss the warmth of ur hug
The passions of ur kiss
The smile on ur face
I miss every part of u
I really hope u will know about this
About all my feelings to u
I wanna show u that
I am not here to hurt u
But to LOVE u...

Last Day

2010-03-14T22:33:00.002-07:00

Today is the last day i met u
Gonna miss u so much
Tomorrow u are leaving
And i dont know when i can see u again
I cant tell u how much i miss u
And now i realize i love u
Eventhough we had quarrel sometime
Eventhough u made me cry before
But i still miss u
I hate when we have to be separated
Cause i dont wanna leave u
I dont wan...na be far from u
I miss u and i really do
This tears just cant stop rolling
I really hope there is someone who can stop it
Cause i am really tired
My head is spinning an my eye is swollen
But this tears just cant stop rolling
I want u to be here with me
Right now till forever
I dont care how many people dont agree our relation
Cause it's between u and me
Not others
Please dont leave me cause i am not ready
Not ready to lose u
Baby i wanna tell u
I miss u and i love u

I met u

2010-03-14T22:33:00.001-07:00

3 months ago i met u
Tats the 1st time we met
And we feel comfortable with each other
So we kept on meeting
And we start this relation
But now u are leaving
U told me this before
But now when i really have to face it
I dont know how to face it
I dont know how to see u leave
I dont want u to leave
But what else can i do
We dont sp...end much time together
But all the time that we spent together
Has gave me memories and lessons
Which makes me grew up more
I will miss u
Thanks for coming into my life
And become part of my life
I really appreciate it
I pray that u will success in future
I will pray for every path tat u walk through
So that God will always bless u
Leaving u is the hardest thing to do
But after all u have me time to prepare
But yet i havent manage it
I will try not to cry infront of u
As i know u wanted to see my smile
For u i will always keep this smile
Be strong and be happy
Cause i am here always to support u
Take care dear

My Bitch

2010-03-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

Now again
I will sleep without ur gud night call
I will sleep without ur kiss
Without ur hug
I miss u so much
I think of us every hour
Cherishing all the memories we had together
I am a stupid gal
Cause i never appreaciate ur attendance
When u r still with me
And now when u r gone
I miss every moment we spend together
I dont kno...w when i can see u
But i really hope i can see u again
Before we both belong to others
But i want u to know
Once we dont belong to others
I am still yours
And u are still mine
This is our promise that we made
The last night we met each other
I hope u will remember this promise we made
Baby, u r my bitch...

first day waiting

2010-03-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day u left me
Its also the starting day for me to wait for u
Right here at the very first place we met
U told me to live my life with smile
Cause u love my smile
And for u someone i love
I will always keep smiling
I dont know when u will be back
But i dont care nothing
Cause i will always be right here
Waiting... for u my love
I will keep my love n my smile
Just for u dear
And i promise u my dear
That i will live my life happily
Till the day u come back
I promise there will be no more twars
I will wait for u with my smile
I promise to be here
I promise

Missing u badly

2010-03-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

Laying on the bed
Seeing all the photos
Hearing your voice
Makes me think of you

Looking at the blue sky
Feeling the breeze of the air
Hearing the chirping of birds
Wishing that you are here with me

Opening my laptop
Started my yahoo messenger
Checking on the list
Hoping to see you online

Missing your hug
Missing your vo...ice
Missing your smile
Missing your everything

We are now far apart
Separated by oceans and lands
The distance is really big
With thousand of miles away

The distance that separate us now
Will never fades my love for you
I will still love you
With all my heart

I'll remember the things you taught me
I'll remember the love you gave me
I'll remember the warmth of your hug
I'll remember you always till the end

my fantasy thinking

2010-03-14T22:17:00.001-07:00

Tonight i am with u
How happy i am to be with u
We talked and chatted
About what happened today
U hug me when i feel cold
To make me feel warm
I love the warmth of ur body
U kissed me with ur sexy lips
Showing me that i am the only one that u wanna kiss
And i really feel happy
U brought me to our beach
And spend the night there
Si...tting and looking at the stars
Side by side with u
Makes me feel am the luckiest gal on earth
Suddenly i woke up
By the reality that u are not here
Its all my imagination
Baby u dont know how much i miss u
How i hope u will never leave
And i will never feel lonely
Without u by my side
This loneliness is killing me
I dont know what should i do now
Just want u to know baby
That i miss u alot

Dream of u

2010-03-14T22:16:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning
With tears in my eyes
And pain in my heart
Cause i realize that
In this reality world
U r not here with me
How i hope i can stay asleep
Stay in my dreams
In my own fantasy
My own world
Where i can just be with u
But i know its impossible
I have to get up one day
To face thia cruel world alone
Without u by my s...ide
I am a gal
Who is waiting for u
Someone who i love
Please be back baby
As i started to hate this loneliness
I miss u

Our Memories

2010-03-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

Looking at our photos
Reminds me of our old days
Our old memories
Reading all ur messages
Makes me feel flying without wings
All the words that u used to send me
I can still feel the love inside
Never know that i will ever have today
Where i have to live alone in this world
Without u by my side
And once again while writing this...
Am thinking of u and us
And this tears start rolling down
But i wipe it off
As i ever promised u
That i wont cry anymore
This smile suddenly appear on this face
And i know that deep in my heart
I love u so much
That all ur photos and messages can actually make me smile
World without u is tough
But i have to survive
Just for u my love

Think of u again

2010-03-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

The day has gone
And i want u so much
The night has come
And i miss u so much
I wanna spend all my life
Just to be with u
I told myself not to fall in love with u
But i never can
And i dont know since when
I started to fall in love
And being the most lucky gal
To be near u
To get the kisses and hugs from u
But its all the past
Every...thing has come to an end
And i can just cherish the memories
I'm really missing u right now
Missing all the days that we spend together
Wishing that time could stop right at that moment
So that today will never come
The day when u left me will never come
So that i will always be with u
And u will always be mine
Right now right this moment
I keep tuning the same song
Again and again
Hoping to hear ur voice singing along
I now knew that
I can never get u out of my mind
No matter what i do
It always remind me of u
When i'm playing pool
When i'm playing bowling
Remember those fun time with u
Really miss u badly here
Do u ever think of me
Even just for a second
Cos i think of u
For every seconds in my life
I cant take u out of my mind
And now i dont know what to do
I really want u to be here with me
Just for once more time
Let me feel ur kiss and hug
Just for once more time

Emptyness

2010-03-14T22:09:00.001-07:00

Last night i went to a place called equinox
Itz a bar and restaurant
With a friend i sit on a table
There are lots of people there
And i just cant stop searching
Searching for a face that i dream every night
A face that i miss every day
But all i got is emptyness
U are not there
And i drank a lot
To make myself unconcious
So that... i never be in this reality world
Where u are not here with me
I want to be with u but i cant
This love and life
Is killing me slowly
I dun wanna be here anymore

Keep waiting

2010-03-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ting tong ting tong
The church bells sound
And i looked into myself
Am wearing the most beautiful white wedding dress
Standing next to the most charming prince
We both have the best smile on our face
And so do all the guests
The priest come in front of us
And read all the wedding promises
And u told me that
U will love me foreve...r and ever
And so do i
And at that very moment
We said our promises
And said "i do"
And guests cheering
And u kiss me on my lips
Tears rolling down on my cheek and u wipe it away
U ask me why i am sad
And i answered u
"this is happy tears"
And u laughed at me and said i am silly
But i dont care
Today onwards i am your silly girl
Till the end of my life
We walked out the church and start our new life
Suddenly i feel hot
When i woke up and opened my eyes
I realized that i am once again
Stuck in my reality world
But i dont care and will keep on dreaming and waiting
Till the day my real prince charming come and pick me up

My Past

2010-03-14T21:59:00.001-07:00

Thought crosses my mind
Everything bout u
I started to think of u
Once again
I dont know how long more i need to take
To start forgetting u
Again and again
U came to my life
I just hate it
When i can forget bout u
And u just came in again
And messed up all the efforts that I did
For the whole 2 months
Do u know how much suffer i got
When i tried all the efforts
To just forget u and buried u
And now
I have to feel the same suffer
Once again just becos of ur ego
U always come and go whenever u want
And now i wont let u do tat again
Not to my life anymore
U will always stay as my past
I told myself to bury u in the bottom of my heart
Where no one can dig it out
Even myself
But now
U r the one who dig it
U remind me of every memories we had
All the laughter and happiness
All the lessons that u taught me
And the last time we met
U once again taught me the 4 lessons
And i will never ever forget it
Cos u r the one who change my life
I will follow all the 4 rules
And u will see that i am actually ur duplicate
But do remember
U will always be one of my past
Always and always

Death Do Us Part

2010-03-14T21:58:00.003-07:00

The sun has shine into my windows
And i felt the kiss on my cheeks
And a warm morning hug
Slowly i opened my eyes
And see the face of urs
Someone who i truely love
U told me to get ready while u will cook me breakfast
And am so happy that i jumped out the bed and get ready
Came out from my bathroom and smell something nice
When i am putting on my make up
The smells get stronger
And it appear infront of me
The best breakfast i ever had
From the best cook i ever known
U told me u will take me to somewhere
And u never tell me where it is
I get ready and jumped into the car
U laughed at me and saying that i am childish
But i dont care
Cos i am too excited
U drove for a long time
On a very long way
And we talked a lot
We laugh and smile
Suddenly a truck appear
Right infront of our car
And u cant avoid it
The car bumped into the truck and lastly to a tree
And i looked at u
U are almost breathless
And so do i
We kept staring at each others eye
Deep into our heart
And we hold each others hand
And i told u that
I am happy to know u
To be with u till the end of my life
And i will always love u
Till death do us part
And u told me the same thing
And right after that
We both gives out our last breath
With the word i love u in it

Found u

2010-03-14T21:58:00.001-07:00

There's a quote says
Everything happen for a good reason
But i never see good reason behind everything that happen in my life
All i know is life sucks
But then suddenly my life change
At the moment i met u
My life has become wonderful
Maybe that is the good reason
After years of waiting
Years of searching
And now i found u
In the middle of the earth
U stood there and smile to me
Putting ur hand out and reach mine
Pull me to u and hug me tight
Like a kid has found his favourite toy
And now i am all urs
In the crowd u hold me tight
Lips to lips stick together
And the feeling just came out
A feeling that i never had with someone else
With all my passion i kiss u
Showing that there is no one i want beside u
But u show me more
U show me that u need me and need no one else
And u told me i am ur future
And now i am telling u that
Baby u are my forever

Once more time

2010-03-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

The distance between us is so big
Miles and miles away
I cant see u nor touch u
I cant feel u nor kiss u
When u r so far away from me
Then i realize how important u r to me
Can i still have u
Once more time in my life
Can i be with u
Just once more time
I will not care for what others say
As long as i can be with u
Everything doesnt matter anymore
Itz between u and me
No one else
And i promise that no one will separate me from u
Not even the distance will
I just want u again in my life
Just once more time
I dont want anything else
Only u baby
Please give me another chance
To be with u for the last time
To love u and care for u
Just for one last time baby

not friend but lover

2010-03-13T02:22:00.001-08:00

I dont want to be your friend
I wanna be your lover
To spend all my days with u
I want to be the first person u see every morning u wake up
I want to be the last person to kiss your forehead every night u go to bed
I want to be the one u dream every night
I want to be the one u hug every day
I want to be your girl
Your one and only

missing u

2010-03-13T02:21:00.001-08:00

Laying here on this bed
Hiding under the quilt from the cold breeze
Hugging the only jumper
That i got from u
It makes me feel like am hugging u
I can still feel the warmth of your body
Through the jumper that i hugged
I miss u alot and alot
And once again i cant sleep
Its 4am now here in melbourne
But yet my eyes are still wide... open
This mind is not get used to sleep
Without the gud night call that it used to get
I get used to ur gud night call
Get used to your warmth of body
Get used to ur kiss
But now everything is gone
I wanna reverse the time
To the time when we are still together
To the time when i still in ur arms
And i will stop the time right at that moment
So that we can be together
Forever and ever

trust in u

2010-03-13T02:13:00.000-08:00

Today i woke up
And i thanks God that i can live another day again
But then i cried
Not because i am happy
But because of the reality
That u are no more here with me
U promise to keep in touch
U promise to be mine forever
Till the day we have to marry other people
But then right now
Where is all your promises
I maybe get used to... u
Who always break promises
But i am the most silly girl
To keep trusting u
And keep letting myself to get hurt
Once again
U break this heart
But also once again
This heart forgives u
Cause this heart love u too much
Too much that it cant stop loving u

Poems...

2010-03-13T02:06:00.000-08:00

Every morning i woke up
I started to think of something
And this fingers just start typing
And a poem is produced
Almost everyday i will write a poem
For people that i love
No matter where and when
This fingers will keep typing
For those who are willing to read
I am not a good poetry
But i am trying my best to be one
I dont write... poems to show off
I just write down what my true feelings are
I dont know since when
I just started to write poems
Or maybe i should say
A paper with tons of words
Showing my feelings right now
For friends out there
Once u are willing to read
I am willing to write

Jia you

2010-01-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

Itz been for some time that i didnt update my blog... Sorry for that cos I really have no mood to update... Not even in the mood to type... There's lots of things happen since 01.01.2010 till date... Itz been 2 weeks since I last met him... Someone who can make me fall in love after 20 years of life on earth... Hahaha... That's true... I dont know why... I keep telling myself not to love him anymore but I just cant stop this feeling... this feeling is so strong that it cant be stopped... Am so sad when he just go away from my life... But now, I'm gonna make an effort to get into his life again... I dont wanna lose him before giving an effort... And all my frens told me to do so too... I dont wanna be his lover for the time being... Cos at least I wanna be his best fren for the time being... Everything will be just fine if I didnt go that night!! Everything will be just fine if I have no stupid sickness!!! few days after he go away from my life, I started to get depressed and wrote so so many notes letter in my facebook just for him and all this things that I've done is to show my feelings... i dont wanna hide my feelings anymore... I'm gonna chase wadever it takes for my future... i dont wanna regret for something that I havent put in effort anymore... There is no more regret in my life... dont want any regret!! Life has to move on, love have to be achieve... And thats the thing that I will do for now!!!... So guys n gals, please do support me... I reli nid ur support...

29.12.2009 & 30.12.2009

2009-12-29T23:16:00.000-08:00

Last night is 29.12.2009... I watched half of the 3 idiots... it's an Indian movie... New movie... I like it but I only watched half... The reason why I only watched half not bcos the movie is not nice but bcos of him... He suddenly called me n said wana meet me... When he called me, I was eating... He asked me whether I wanna meet him or not and I just keep quiet n didnt say anything... cos I dont feel like meeting him... But he gave me a good excuse... That we need to talk... Then I have to say yes... Then after 20 minutes he arrived... He gave me 3 misscall... N I went out to meet him... When I was going into the car, I took a long deep breath... Hahaha... Funny rite?? Going to meet bf but have to take deep breath... Hahaha... Anyway, when I went into the car, I just sat there and said Hai to him... And I was like meeting a fren... But then he suddenly come forward and hug me... Hahaha... But I just sat down and didnt reply his hug... So he just took my hand and hug himself... Hahaha... Erm... Then he started talking and I just sat there n listen... He thought I didnt listen to him and he stopped talking... But then I said I did listen and he started talking again and he asked me understand or not and I just answered yes yes yes... And I suddenly said I want KFC and he directly drive the car and bought KFC for me... And we ate in the car infront of my house... After that we just kept talking... I duno but he just asked me not to change and begged me not to change but I just cant... When he hug me, I never hug back... When he kissed me, I never kissed back... When he asked me to meet him again, I just said we'll see or wadever... Hmmm... I duno wad I should do... Am confuse but for now, maybe this is the right way... I will just pray for myself... Anyway, guys, new year eve is coming... 2009 is coming to an end... Enjoy the last moment... Last day of 2009... Throw the sadness and the bad things behind and bring the happiness and joy to 2010... Welcome 2010 and dont ever look back anymore... Everything that happened in 2009 is just a past and a lesson for us... Look to the future, look to the front... Something is waiting for us there... Dont ever say impossible cos nothing is impossible... Impossible is something that u have to change to possible... So, from 01.01.2010, make everything impossible in 2009 to be possible... Never have negative thinking cos it will only ruin u... Positive thinking is the best... 2010 = No worry, be happy... So, gambateh...

christmas n new year

2009-12-28T06:33:00.000-08:00

Hahaha... Long time didnt post any blog...been busy working so didnt post lor...but i do write diary everyday lor...christmas... christmas is on 25th december... i didnt really go n celebrate it like years back... usually i will go church n celebrate with family... but since now i m all alone in oversea... so i didnt really go n celebrate it... tat day i woke up at 12.30pm n directly take my bath... after tat hen i checked on my phone, i juz realize tat jisang called me... so i called back n he asked me out... so i juz said okay cos i have nothing to do too... but when i was in the train station waiting for the train, there is some thoughts coming out asking me not to go..but i still went... when i met him, i was shocked with his appearance... he is not the guy tat i know anymore... the whole day, i dun feel very happy... then suddenly they asked me to go crown so i went... n i accidentally met ronny there... ronny seem so happy when he saw me but i m not cos i dun wan him to think negatively... anyway, continue... then he said he will call me... we hav small quarrel when he call but after tat ok le... miss him muchie muchie...hahaha...anyway,tats all for my christmas day... n will talk bout my new year later after the new year come...hahha...new year is coming...left 3 days...counting down... duno wad to do in new year...if i m in indonesia or malaysia, then i know lor...indonesia, my mom will make party n we see fire works...if in malaysia, will go out with alan gor n celebrate lor...hahaha... but now in melbourne...not many fren yet...so duno wad can i do lor..will be bored new year though...hahha...okay...anyway, time to sleep...bye...

Nothing's gonna change my love for u...

2009-12-04T03:25:00.000-08:00

If I had to live my life without u near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With u I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without u
Nothing's gonna change my love for u
U ought to know by now how much I love u
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for u
U ought to know by now how much I love u
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for u
If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead a way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for u if u should need me
U dont have to change a thing
I love u just the way u are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help u see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I dont want to live without u

Love and Marriage

2009-12-04T02:52:00.001-08:00

A student ask a teacher, "what is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big padi,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is a even bigger one waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he start to realise that the padi is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regreted !!!! So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person....""What is marriage then?" the student asked.The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

This is story about love and marriage... U have to choose all ur life... Everything is depend on urself... Love who u wan to love before tis too late... Life is simple... But sometimes its hard... U have to choose between this n that... He and she... Here n there... So... Make a right choice... Don regret after choosing it...

45 things a girl want from their boyfriend

2009-12-04T02:48:00.001-08:00

FoR3vEr LovE

1-touch their waist
2-talk to them
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly

are you remembering this?

6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with your friends

keep reading

11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved

Are you thinking about someone?

16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!

..20 u need to show her you mean it too

21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. You buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can still help

we might deny it but we actually like and kinda want you to get us things

26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school/work, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

are you still reading this u better be its important

31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she’s upset, comfort her remember this next time you are with her
36. When people tease her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible
41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night
44. Dedicate a song to her.
45. Always Remind her how much you love her. You’ll never know when she needs just a lil more love

why women always cry...

2009-12-04T02:46:00.001-08:00

A little boy asked his mother "Why are you crying？"
　
一個男孩問他的媽媽：『你為甚麼要哭呢？』
　
　
　
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
　
媽媽說：『因為我是女人啊。』
　

　
"I don't understand," he said.
　
男孩說：『我不懂。』
　
　
　
His mum just hugged him and said, "And you never will"
　
他媽媽抱起他說：『你永遠不會懂得。』
　
　
　
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
　
後來小男孩就問他爸爸：『媽媽為甚麼毫無理由的哭呢？』
　
　
　
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
　
『所有女人都這樣。』他爸爸回答。
　

　
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
　
小男孩長成了一個男人，但仍舊不懂女人為甚麼哭泣。

Finally he put in a call to God;
and when God got on the phone,
he asked, "God, why do women cry so! easily?"
　
最後，他打電話給上帝；當上帝拿起電話時，
他問道：『上帝，女人為甚麼那麼容易哭泣呢？』
　
　
　
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world;
yet, gentle enough to give comfort"
　
上帝回答說：
　
『當我創造女人時，讓她很特別。
我使她的肩膀能挑起整個世界的重擔；並且，又柔情似水。』
　

　
"I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth
and the rejection that many times comes from her children"
　
『我讓她的內心很堅強，
能夠承受分娩的痛苦和忍受自己孩子多次的拒絕。』
　

　
"I gave her a hardness that allows
her to keep going when everyone else gives up,
and take care of her family through sickness
and fatigue without complaining "
　
『我賦予她耐心，使她在別人放棄的時候繼續堅持，
並且無怨無悔的照顧自己的家人，渡過疾病和疲勞。』
　

　
"I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any
and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly"
　
『我賦予她在任何情況下，都會愛孩子的感情，
即使她的孩子傷害了她。』
　
　
　
"I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults
and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart"
　
『我賦予她包容她丈夫過錯的堅強
和用他的勒骨塑成她來保護他的心。』
　

　
"I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her strengths
and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly"
　
『我賦予她智慧，讓她知道一個好丈夫是絕不會傷害他的妻子的，
但有時我也會考驗她支持自己丈夫的決心和堅強。』
　
　
　
"And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
　
『最後，我讓她可以流淚。只要她願意。這是她所獨有的。』
"You see: The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair."!
　
『你看，女人的漂亮不是因為她穿的衣服、
她保持的體型或者她梳頭的方式。』
　
"The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart
* the place where love resides."
　
『女人的漂亮，必須從她的眼睛中去看，
因為那是她心靈的窗戶和愛居住的地方。』

用平静的心去面对不平静的事；
用成熟的心胸去选择自己的未来；
Made with.... 缘分是找到包容自己的人。。。

每一个女人都很漂亮。。。
Every Women Is Beautiful...

FRIENDS

2009-12-04T02:44:00.000-08:00

Friends do things for one another

They understand

They go a million miles out of theirway

They hold your hand

They bring you smiles
when a smile is exactly what youneeded.

They listen and they hear
what is said in the spaces between
thewords

They careand they let you know
you're in their prayers.

A friend can guide you,
inspire you,comfort you,
or light up your life with laughter.

A friend understands your mood
sand nurtures your needs.

A friend lovingly knows just what
you're after.

When good news come
as friend is the first one you turn to
When feelings overflow
and tears need to fall
friends help you through it all.

Friends bring sunlight into your life
They warm your life with their presence
whether they are far awayor close by your side.

A friend is a gift
that brings happiness
and a treasure that money can't buy.

Thanks for being my friend

My Love

2009-12-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

You're the person living in my heart
and the person that I've treasured so.
Because you were so special
I couldn't hold you
because I had never given anyone happiness before

I love you who's never laughed a tease.
When I was happy or sad
you cried and laughed with meand
I want to do anything I can foryou.

Hello my love, my love I'll protect you now.
Thank you for putting up with me and
waiting for me.

Hello my love, my love I'll love you forever.
When I'm born again
I want you to be the one I love.
Let's be a lamp to each when we've
lost our way in the dark night.
Even if the rain wind drives us back,
don't let go of these two hands holding you now.
You were always by my side when I was worn and pained.
I had used "I'm sorry" in place
of "thank you".

Hello my love, my love I'll protect you now.
Thank you for putting up with me and
waiting for me.

Hello my love, my love I'll love you forever.
When I'm born again
I want you to be the one I love.
Even if I fall down and fall down
again and again,
if I have you then I know I can stand back up again.

Hello my love, my love I'll protect you now.
Thank you for putting up with me and
waiting for me.

Hello my love, my love when I call you like this
I'm so happy I could cry, I love you.

Him... <3<3<3

2009-12-01T08:33:00.000-08:00

Am listening to a song by ANANG HERMANSYAH... The title is "Separuh Jiwaku Pergi" means Half my Soul Go... It's happening to me now... I dont know... Am feeling hurt inside... It's paining... Am crying a lot this few days... But I just cant stopped wad is happening... I love him... He love her... She love him... This is wad happened to me now... I know am stupid and foolish to love him... No one agree... But, I still love him... I will owes love him... Not for 1 month, 1 year, 1 century... But for whole life... I will owes be there for him... Whenever he needs me... I will give him my smile... My everything... But guys, I really dun mean to ruin anyone's life... I just wanna be with him everytime when he needs me... I know... I will be hurt more than now... But, I will accept wad will be happening in the future... I will pray for his happiness all the time... I will care for him... I will love him... That's forever... Am sorry to hurt people who love me... But, I just wanna be myself now... I just wanna love him... Maybe everyone who knows will scold me being so stupid, so foolish, so childish... But please... Just for this time... Let me be myself... Do wad I wanna do... I owes never have the chance to do wadever I wanna do... Since small, wadever my mom n dad said, I will owes listen to them... I never say no... I will owes say yes... Even my dad asked me to break up with my beloved one, I did tat too... But this time, just for this time, let me make my own choice, live with my own choice... I am ready for every hurt that I will take... I am ready for every sadness tat will happen... I am ready for every tears tat will roll off... I am ready... I am not just saying around and am not just playing with the feelings... This time, am real... Am serious... I love him... With all my heart... Even he will not be the one I know for the 1st time... But I will still love him for who he is... I will not regret to know him... I dont regret to let him come into my life... I dont regret that I love him... And I will owes love him... He is someone special for me... Even he will not be there in the future, I will still love him... Sometimes I cant understand myself too... But this is really happening now... I dont ask for advice... I just ask for support... Dont scold me cos no matter wad u guys said, I will still love him... With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my energy... Until my very last breath... I duno how long I will have... I know my own health history... And I know how to manage it... I really will love him for the rest of my life... But God, please, before YOU take me away, just let me see him happy... That's my only wish... Please let me be there to congratz him for his happiness... And after that, YOU can take me whenever YOU want... I will have no more regret... God,please make him as YOUR love one too... Cause he deserve it...

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi (Half my soul go)

2009-12-01T07:51:00.000-08:00

Separuh Jiwaku Pergi

Memang indah semua
Tapi berakhir luka
Kau main hati
Dengan sadarmu
Kau tinggal aku

Reff:
Benar ku mencintaimu
Tapi tak begini
Kau khianati hati ini
Kau curangi aku

Kau bilang tak pernah bahagia
Selama dengan aku
Itu ucap bibirmu
Kau dustakan semua
Yang kita bina
Kau hancurkan semua

Translation :

Everything is wonderful
But over the wound
You play hearts
With your concious
You're left me

Reff:
I truely love you
But not like this
You betrayed this heart
You cheat me

You said never happy
As long as with me
That lips said
You lied on
everything we built
You destroy all

Maya

2009-11-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

Am sitting in my 2nd bedroom... On the floor... Typing this new blog... After a long cry... At last, I can smile... Even it's paining inside, I will still overcome it... In front of him... Someone I love... And I will never cry in front of him anymore... SInce he hate my tears, I'll give him my smile... A smile that he missed for this few days... The truth has started and it wont have an end for it... I will never lie and I will be who I am in front of him... In front of everyone, just judge me wadever u all like... Maya is Maya... No matter wad I do, I will owes be me... Love me or hate me, it's ur decision... Just leave (IT SHOULD BE FU*K OFF, U guys know I am not that gentle...Someone change that..Just explaining...)my life if u r not coming in to make it beautiful cos I dont need someone to ruin it!!! I can ruin it myself if I wanted to so Bye for those who will go from my life... OK... So, thats all for now... I will start my new life at this very moment... The life which evryone should live...U guys ...its my suggestion...Life is beautiful live it guys...dont ruin...no matter what pains u have...its ur own life...live it...u will never get another.............

the truth...

2009-11-30T02:57:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been stop posting blogs... I am busy with my school and jobs... Now am having my school holiday for 6 weeks... So right now am busy working... I dont know why recently I am so crazy with working... I feel like keeping myself busy... Anyway... I am now S & A... Single and Available... I duno what I am feeling right now... I am tired... I really feel tired... I slept for the whole day today... Something weird inside... I felt something... Ok, this time, this blog will be about the truth... I dont care wad u people will think after reading this blog... I admit I am a jerk, a loser, a playgirl... So, F**K oFF if u dun like it!!!

1st truth :

I Broke up with my Boyfriend!!! A boyfriend that have been in my life for 1 year and 10 months and 6 days... People will think that it's a shocking news... But this really happen... We broke up...

2nd truth :

I like a guy that I shouldnt like!!! Why I said I shouldnt like him?? It's because he have someone waiting for him in his home country... As long as he is near me, am happy... Even it's hurt... Sometimes, I just wanna asked him to be with me forever without any other gal waiting for him... But thinking of that makes me feel I am selfish... I know he love her... And she love him very much... He said he love me and said I am his... I duno what to say... Knowing that fact makes me feel hurt... Maybe this is the reason I feel hurt now...

Thats the 2 truths that I wanna say... Hahaha... (for those who have read my blog before.... Am sorry to delete the 3rd truth bcos tat truth will not happen... Since it's future tense, so, forget that truth..) <--- requested by my Mr.Vampire... The guy who hurt me so much but I still a foolish to love him...

No Title again!!!!!!!

2009-11-20T06:53:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, at this very moment, I cant sleep... I dun even feel sleepy... I dont know why... I worked... I am tired... I feel sick... I got sorethroat... I got headache... But, I dun feel wanna sleep... I just wanna sit down here n type my blog... I feel like posting something... I duno what to type... I have no idea what title I should give to this post... I duno what I feel right now... I duno what I am doing... I duno what is in my mind... All I know is type type type for now...
Below are 10 of my negative attitude : (Like it or not, it's me!!!! )

1. I am short tempered (trying to change now n my mom said I improved)
2. I am childish (I really am)
3. I am stupid (this is just sometimes when I feel wanna be stupid)
4. I am crazy (this happen only when I am with my frens)
5. I like to cry (this will never can change)
6. I am fat (this, I am trying to diet but I always fail)
7. I am tomboy (this one oledi since small)
8. I am short (I dun play basketball, so I wont grow taller)
9. I am lazy (this is proven)
10. I am playgirl (this... I tried to change...)

Ok... That's 10... Like it or not, just ACCEPT it!!!!! I dun care who u are, if u wanna come close to me then u have to accept everything!!!!!

untitled...

2009-11-19T05:46:00.001-08:00

Today is Friday... I went to Partyworld for Karaoke with my frens... There are Usun, Alvin, Mely, Janet, Kiat, Audry and Ching Rou... The 8 of us are crazy... Maybe the 1st time when we stepped into the room, we don't feel high... High as mean excited... So we just sing some song... When it came to a song " Because of You" we started to get high and we sang so loudly even without the mic... Gosh... I just cant bear myself not to sing with them... When we are going up to Partyworld, my fren said this to me : " I know something happen from ur face lar... So later just go and put it out..." So, when I was in the room, I tried my best not to think bout the problems and keep singing... I dun care wad people think bout my voice... I know I dont have nice voice to sing... I dont know how to sing... Maybe my singing like shit... I just dont care... All I wanna do is be myself... Sometimes, I just need to get drunk to be myself... But since I have stop drinking... I need to use other things to make myself happy... Hahaha... I duno... Maybe people think I am crazy... But, that's me... I am who I am... I am not as good as my sis... I am not as pretty as my sis... I am not as good girl as my bro... I am stubborn... I am talkative... I am lack of smile... And if u cant take the real me, then stay far from me... I dont need u since u dont need me... Maybe for most people, being the real them is easy but for me, I cant... It's not easy for me... I always be someone that I dont know... Someone that others want me to be... I am an actress in my own world... In my own life... I cant even be the producer, the writer, the main role in my own scenario... I don't know why... Sometimes, just sometimes, I really wanna be myself... No matter infront of who... Even infront of the president... So, let me be myself!!!!

papa ku chayank :p

2009-11-14T06:06:00.000-08:00

Now... Right now... At this very moment... I am lying on my bed... Checking my email... Chatting with my friends... And most importantly I'm chatting with my "papa"... He is my pastor in Indonesia church... I miss him so much... He is so kind that everyone love him... Of cos include me... He is kind, friendly, funny, high self confident... He always said that he looks like Jackie Chan... Hahaha... No matter how he look, he is still my favourite papa... I knew him cos I went to that church named Tabernacle Family... In the church, we are really like big family... I like the feels that I got there... The people are friendly... Since I knew him, I always go to him whenever I need someone to talk to... Whenever I need a shoulder to cry on... Maybe he is feeling bored with me but he always put on a smile and warm hug for me whenever he saw me... Now we are far apart... We cant talked to each other like we used to... We cant see each other like we used to... We cant hug each other like we used to... We cant do anything together like we used to... and I am still not used to this condition where we are far apart and we just can communicate by using Yahoo Messenger and Handphone... For those people out there who create Yahoo and Handphone, I love u both so much... Cos u both make me can contact my papa... He always know the way to comfort me... He always know what I should do... He always be there for me... Am proud to have this papa... Now, when I went to church in Melbourne, I always feel something is losing... Something that I used to do but I cant do it now... Something that I miss so much... Something that I wanna see... Being such a wonderful papa's daughter, I am very proud... He never say no to me... He always listen to me... He always is the best... I believe him... HE believe in him... Gambateh papa ku chayank...

no title againnnnn

2009-11-11T06:01:00.000-08:00

It's 21 degree now in Melbourne at 1.02 AM... And yet, I havent fall asleep... Was lying on my bed and reading my friend's blog... I dont know how they can actually manage to post blogs almost everyday... As I cant even post one blog for one day... Hahaha... I always post blog when I feel like writing... Which is for now... Hahaha... Melbourne is going into summer... Although most my friends said it's still spring but for me, it's SUMMER... Gosh... Sometimes it will be 34 degree and the sun actually burn your skin... Oh my beloved skin, I'm sorry that I let the sun to burn u... Gosh... I love Melbourne but not the sun... I love the sky where it's blue and you can actually see the white soft clouds... I often tell people I met that I love Melbourne's sky... When u are here, u will know why I love it... Yesterday, which is few hours back, I was talking on the phone with a friend of mine for 2hours and 45 minutes where I actually talked to her since 3pm actually... Hahaha... So, it is more than 2 hours... But I get some nap at 5.43pm till 6.43pm... We talked bout many things and we share many stories of ourselves... Talking on the phone with her actually can make me laugh when I am stressed and dont feel like laughing... I dont know what really happen to me but this few days, I can survive by eating once meal a day... Like the day before yesterday, I had chicken curry for my lunch and I didnt eat anything else after that which makes me survive until last nite... I dont know how I manage to do that but I actually really did tat... I can survive without eating... But one thing for sure, I CANT SURVIVE WITH DRINKING... Hahaha... Yesterday I stayed at home the whole day cause I am lazy to go to campus... I woke up at 10.30am where I actually should be in campus at 9.00am... Hahaha... When I woke up, I called my friend directly to ask him about today's class but when I heard his voice, he just woke up too... Just like me... Hahaha... And we had the same reason for not attending campus... LAZY... Hahahaha... It's the 1st time I'm absent... Weird... But real... Haha... Staying home while everyone is in campus feels nice... Where everyone will call u and ask u why didnt u go to campus... Hahaha... I just answered them I cant wake up... Haha... By the way, continue about me talking on the phone with my friend, we did some crazy things like singing few Indonesian songs together... Hahaha... But it feels great cos I feel stressed that time and she just found out a way to make me not feeling stress... Thanks to her I feel better now... Should I say I am going crazy now or I am just stress?? Weirdie... Hahaha... Trying to be myself again but suddenly, at this moment, I cant find myself in me... It's weird but it's happening... Something is missing in me... And I dont know what's that... I dont know where to find that missing piece of me... I really feel lost now... Maya, where are u?? Come back soon cos I am missing u... Hahaha... See, I'm crazy now... I talked to myself too often... Hahaha... I am really not me now... Goshhhh... Even my friend feel weird when talking to me on the phone just now cause I keep laughing and laughing... I dont know why... Today I checked my addiction to facebook and I got 86% for it... Oh my, am I really that addicted??? Gosh... Never realize... Hahaha... Ok then... Maybe I am really that addicted to facebook... Hahaha... So what??? I feel comfortable with it... It can make me type out what I'm feeling at the moment... Hahaha... So, no doubt that facebook is part of my life... Actually, I love doing what I'm doing and I love being who I am... So, will help myself to be better... Ciayou... Gambateh...

Melbourne, Indian, Me

2009-11-10T18:18:00.000-08:00

I dont know what I am writing now... I dont know what happen to me recently... Did Melbourne really changes me?? I dont know too... Maybe, like what my friend said... Melbourne really can changes someone and it really did... It changes me... I am lost... I cant find myself... I dont know what I'm thinking... I dont know what I'm doing... I dont know what I am... I am confuse... Confuse with everything that is happening around me right now... Everything seems to be so unpredictable... Everything happen far beyond my expectation... Being who I am maybe is not what I want but this is my life... Life where no one can actually understand... When I told my friend bout it, I dont even know whether they really understand or not... For the time being, I just want to be alone... Maybe, it's time for me being lonely for now... I dont know why... I just wanna stay still, stay cool, stay alone in my room... Maybe people will think that I am crazy... Where we should be enjoying life with friends while we can but at this very moment, I really dont feel like talking... Or do anything... I just want to be a lazy girl... Lying on my bed... Imagining things that never will happen to me... Melbourne is a nice place with nice people but I dont know why most people dont like Indians... Telling ya all the truth, I like Indians... No matter they are like what people say like smelly, annoying, like monkeys... But I still like them... Not all Indians are same like what people say... When u come to them and try to understand them, U will find out that they are good, kind, nice, interesting... And maybe they are actually much better than u guys who thinks that they are under u all... I hate when people ask me why I like Indians... I like Indian or not I guess it's my problem... Why people like to ask me such question?? There is no reason behind that... I just feel comfortable with them... Is that wrong?? I just wanted to know more friends... That's all... Please never say u hate Indians in front of me or I will never ever talk to u again... I ever had an Indian family as my neighbour back then when I am still staying in Kuching... And for your information, we spent lots of time together, eating, playing, chit chat... We always went out together... We spent lots of things together... They are my first Indian friends and I like them... And until now, I still like them... Maybe not all Indians are good and friendly and kind... But mostly, who I knew, they are different... They are good, kind, caring, friendly... Dont be so racist... Maybe one day when u are having problems, they are the one who can help u... Be friends with everyone, anyone... Now, I am staying with Indian family in Melbourne... And I feel comfortable with them... I like them... Being in such nice family, I am really happy... For those who dont like Indian, come tell me whats the reason cause I dont found any reason that u should hate them... And I am proud to say I like Indian...

Best friend

2009-11-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

Having a best friend, is the best thing i wanted to have in this world... Even only for 1 or 2, it's enough for me... I have 2 best friend... And I wanted u all to know that this 2 girls, is my beloved best friend forever... K... Let me intro u...

U SUN ---> yeaps... this is my 1st best friend's name... She is my friend since primary school... Now I am teenager... So, u bet that's long enough as a best friend... We ever stayed near to each other... We chat so much that we don't even remember what we chatted before... We eat and drink and play together as world has no difficulty for us to think... We go same primary school, same high school... And I left Kuching after that... I havent met her for almost 5 years... And I thought I lost this best friend of mine, but facebook and friendster met us up... And when I told her I wanna come to Melbourne, she was so happy... And I am glad that I can see her again... I thought she changed... As u see, 5 years didnt meet... Hahaha... But on the day when she picked me up, I know, she never changed... She is still the freind that I know... And I will always love her... Everytime when I am lost in the city, everytime when I called her, she will always be there for me... No matter when, she always will tell me not to worry and I will find my way... And after calling her, I really found my way... She was like the angel that God send to me when I am lost... Hahaha... She was so great... Kind... Friendly... Love her... Muacks muacks muacks...

Cathy ---> ok... this is my 2nd best friend... She is my friend since we are in high school... Knowing her is best part of my life too... We always stick together and do anything together... And lastly, she even stay near to my house... (in Kuching)... We are classmate, we are neighbour, we are best friend... I duno what she treat me as, but she always is my best friend... Didnt meet her for almost 3 years I guess... And she is coming to Melbourne soon... I am so excited... She was so good... Everytime when I need someone to talk to, she is there... She can comfort me... Hahaha... And the most important thing, she can cool me down everytime when I am angry... Thanks for being there for me... I can't wait to see u in Melbourne...

Life without best friend is not called a life...

No. title....

2009-10-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

Living here in Melbourne...
All alone...
Even there are friends, but I just can't stand to be sad...
Sometimes people are so so kind that they ask me out..
But... sometimes... I just need to be alone...
Cos there is time that I need to be myself...
I don't know why...
But infront of people...
All I can do is putting a fake smile..
A mask on my face...
Telling everyone that I am just doing great...
Without them noticing that I am so sad...
Cos since small, all I wanted to do is making everyone around me to be happy...
Maybe... No one ever notice this...
But there is this guy who notice it ever since we met...
He is the one who always there for me...
He is the one who always wipe off my tears...
He is the one who always listen to me...
He is God... Who always never leave me...
When I 1st knew Him, I never thought He will be so kind to me...
But then, He treat me as His daughter...
Being His daughter is the most greatful thing in my life...
Having a fake smile is something that I can do so easily...
I just don't know why...
Sometimes, I heard Him saying be yourself...
But, sometimes, I just can't be myself...
Everyone around me thought that I live a nice and happy life...
And I want to keep it like that...
Ever someone said to me :" Don't wait for others to talk to u but u should go and talk to others.."
But does he know that I... Just want to be quiet?
I don't really like talking... I don't know why...
But that happen since I am young...
I can't talk too much and I rather stay quiet...

Today in church we don't have sunday class...
But then we got some program...
Gong Rong is bringing us all for a prayer class...
And this day... When he say talk to myself...
All I can say to myself is, don't put a mask anymore...
Deep in my heart, I am so so suffer...
I want to cry out loud...
I want to be like everyone...
Laugh when you are happy...
Cry when u are sad...
Sometimes, I just wanted to shout out loud...
That's the reason I love beach and mountains...

Every guy who dates me will ask me curiously why I don't like shopping...
Yup... I am not like other normal girls who like shopping...
Who can shops all day long and wasting thousands dollar a day...
I just like beach and mountain...
I like to see the miracle that God create...
I feel that I am happy when I am in those places...
I am myself when I am there...
I can cry and laugh... And no one cares...
Being not myself for so many years...
It's the hardest thing to do...
But then, I've made it and make it as a routine...

God, I am sorry that sometimes I just forget about You...
But thanks to You cos You never leave me...
You always give me miracle in my life...
I don't know about others life...
But in my life, God always gives me miracle...
No matter how big or small it is, it always make me back to Him whenever I am lost...

Miss Him

2009-10-11T03:13:00.000-07:00

I miss him so much...
He is not by my side...
I feel weird with this situation...
Have been far away from him for 1 month liao...
Really miss him...
1 month without him very hard to past...
Cause I have him beside me for 1 year and 8 months liao...
Within this 1 year and 8 months..
He always by my side no matter when and where...
Everytime when I am facing problems or having happiness...
He will always there for me...
Maybe he is not perfect to you all..
But, he is perfect for me...
I mean... I know there is no one perfect in this world...
But when u found your true love...
U will realize that, when 2 unperfect person being together to fulfill each other, then they will become perfect...
And that is how I feel now...
Having him by my side is the greatest gift from God to me...
And I really thanks God for giving him to me...
He always know how to make me angry, cry... But he also know how to make me laugh...
He always know what I want and what I don't want...
He always try his best to give me everything I want...
And I really thanks him for that...
He, I really care...
He, I really miss...
He, I really love...
Being with him is the most wonderful life and memories in my life...
Thanks dear for being by my side...
I hope we can be together soon...
Really miss u...

feelings

2009-10-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

I have been in Melbourne almost 1 month...My dear didn’t follow... So, here I am alone... This has been the several times since he broke his promise and yet I didn’t even angry him... Not that I don’t care but I know deep in my heart... I know that he have tried his best... But then... When he broke this promise, I am really hurt... I just don’t know why... When I arrived here, the 1st day, I cried while chatting with him cause I miss him so much and I understand that I can’t like usual... See him whenever I want... I know he have suffer since started this relationship with me and yet he still continues... And for me, he is the best... And I will not stop this rerlation... I will always wait for him... I know... Sometimes I am so stubborn and so childish... but he still love me... With all his heart... I know it even he never told me before... I know he love me even he never say “I LOVE U” seriously... I just remember once he ever say it seriously... that is when I go for haircut and the hairdresser make me look dumb... And I cried in my dear’s arm and he said to me :” I don’t care how u look... I don’t care what is your hair style... I don’t care what others say... I will always love u..” And since then, I always say I LOVE U to him... And I realize that, he is the one that I’ve been looking for...Whenever I look at the sky here, I thought of him... How I hope I can share this beautiful scenery with him... Everytime when I see people holding their bf... How I hope I can hold him now... Everytime when I want to hear his voice, I have to hold... Cause if I call him, he will get roaming... It will cost him a lot... Everytime when I want to see him, I have to wait till night cos I always be home late... I miss his touch... I miss him... I miss his voice... I miss him so much... I hope I can meet him soon...

the day when we go buy present

2009-10-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

About today... Ok... What I did today??? Many... Lots of thing... First I woke up at 7am today and I woke my dear up by calling his phone... But as usual.... I called for thousands of times but still no answer cos my dear = piggy hammy... Who like to sleep and wont be able to wake up fast... Hahaha... (Don’t angry dear)... Then I use my favourite and best way... That is to ask his mom to wake him up... Hahaha... At last... After 30 minutes of “war”, my dear woke up and go shower... After that I also directly go shower lor... And when I walked down the stairs, damn, my leg pain... My leg swallow... Gees... So pain... Then I walked slowly to the bathroom and shower... And went up to my room and prepare... Not long after that, my dear arrive at my house and we went to church... After church, we went to eat A&W... Yummy... Delicious... But at that moment, my leg really really hurts... My tummy also pain... Cause my “auntie” come... Hahaha... Then we suddenly remember want to buy present for my dear’s daddy... First we want to buy him the working shirt but suddenly we saw a mother and son wearing spongbob shirt and we suddenly shout out together that we want to buy that spongebob shirt for his daddy... hahaha... Very stupid... Then we walked and find the shirt but then my eye caught on to a Garfield statue... First I thought it was just a statue but then I asked to the girl and she said it’s a phone... Gees... So cute phone... So sad that I didnt take a picture of it... hahaha... After bought the Garfield phone, we went to a massage place to cure my leg and at last, my leg is wrapped like a steam piggy... Hahaha... We arrived there at 12 something and guess how long we waited... We waited for almost 1 and half hour... Gees... Wasting time... Tiring... Luckily my dear good... Ask me to sleep on his leg first... Hahhaa... This guy oso lor... Oledi know got so many patient still dont want to faster come out... HE IS NOT CURING PEOPLE... I DONT KNOW WHAT HE DO INSIDE HIS HOUSE SO LONG AND THERE ARE SO MANY PATIENT WAITING FOR HIM... Gees... So bad he let us all waited for him for so long... But nvm la... He can cure my leg... And he said that my leg is broken... Er... If I not mistaken lor... So he bandaged my leg lor... So pain... Even until now, the pain is still there... I cant do anything with it... Just pray so that it can be cure faster... Now I oledi got internet and own laptop... So happy... Hehehehe... Ok lar... By the way, Anyway, Busway... I will be in Melbourne for another 3 weeks... SO happy... But will be more happy if my dear can follow me lor... Hahaha... Ok la... Late le... Wanna sleep... Nitez... Bye...

D.I.E

2009-09-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

Ok.. Another post about DIE... My other hamster die again... Now is the mother... The day before yesterday, my deaR put her in small cage cos she attack the baby... Ok... Since yesterday whole day, no on at his house... And when at night he go home, the hamster is bleeding... And it's because she born her dead baby... So sad... Then she born 8 babies in few hours cos the baby all die... She lost too much blood and this morning she passed away... I cried whole night until 2am then sleep... Even though like that, I still doesnt sleep well... I am really sad... Cause I love her so much... Sad...

NO INTERNET for.... 20 DAYS

2009-09-04T22:59:00.001-07:00

Ok... I am going Melbourne soon... It's so soon that I left 3-4 days left in Jakarta... Hahaha... And guess what, my friend, Mely said, there will be no INTERNET for 20 DAYS long... OMG... How can I live without INTERNET????? Oh no... Then I have one thing pop out from my brain... Ting Ting... I will buy many many movies and bring there and watch it everytime when I dont have anything to do... Hahaha... Can u imagine someone like me living in a house with 20 days no internet??? How can I chat?? How can I update my FB?? How can I email?? At last, after that idea pop out, I directly go buy lots and lots of movie... Hahaha... Oledi done packing... No more thing to pack... And I am going to be a movie maniac... Hahaha... Ok... That's all... Wanna have my lunch... Oh internet, faster come...

Passed Away

2009-09-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

Ok... U guys sure duno what passed away lor... Cause I havent say it out... But I really sad when I heard this news from my dear... Geesss... How can it possible!!!! Me and my dear have lots of hamster and 1 of the female hamster just gave birth last month... I think 3 weeks ago... 5 little hammy born and 3 normal (grey colour) and 2 golden (like it's name, it's golden colour)... The babies grown bigger and bigger... Grown cuter and cuter... But then... All of sudden... When I was in my sleep, this news came... My dear text me msg and say there's something happen to the hamster... The female hamster who gave birth to them (which is their mommy), bite one of the baby... Until the baby bleeding... ANd at last, because the bleeding doesnt stop, the baby passed away... !!!! OMG!!! How can that be??? I am so damn sad... I dont even have the mood to go play now... Actually I am planning to go DUFAN (Like Disneyland) But now, I really not in the mood... SO sad... Really dont want something like this to be happening... Then after that my dear punished the hammy mommy and put her in small cage and dont let her drink and eat for 12 hours... Huhuhu... But doing that also doesnt return the baby hammy to me... Baby hammy, I'm sorry I didnt take care of u well... I will pray for u so u will go to heaven... I love u baby hammy...

About August 31 2009

2009-09-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

Talking bout August 31st 2009... It's past already... I got my Visa on that day... Hahaha... I am so so happy... I also issued my ticket to MELBOURNE!!!! Yipiiieee... I am going to Melbourne next week on Wednesday night... Ok... I know it's nothing to proud of but I do really proud of it...!!! U know why?? Cause my visa has been in the Embassy for more than 14 days and it really make me feel worried bout it... Geezz... I duno lar... But I am really scared that I dont get the Visa... Cause... When I go have my medical checkup, I am in bad condition... Which means I am sick... Ok, that will be a big problem because they said people sick cant go Australia... Damn... I hate to hear that... But luckily there no problem with my health... Which mean I AM ABLE TO GO MELBOURNE!!! The only thing that will make me sad is I have to leave Indonesia where my dear and mom is here... Ok, maybe I dont worry about my dear cause he said he will go after 1 month... But my mom?? Who will take care of her when she is sick?? Maybe someone will say my sis... But if we think of it, my sis DONT EVEN CARE bout my mom!!! Geeezzz... Last few days my mom is sick, and yet she dont even care of her...!!! What will happen if I am not here and my mom sick??? I just dont know... Geezz... So evil devil... I just can pray to GOD... So that GOD will let her change her attitude... By the way, talking bout GOD, HE really make so lots of miracle for me... Like, on Sunday, that is 2 days before my Visa been granted, I pray to GOD so that my visa will be granted the next day and yet, the next day, afternoon, my Visa is granted... Hahaha... See... HE loves me so much... And I love HIM so much... Thanks GOD for all the miracle YOU shown and gave me... And please keep continue giving me all the miracle...

sunday...23rd august 2009

2009-08-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

NB:Posted today becos last nite cant be post...

My feeling

2009-08-22T02:05:00.000-07:00

Have been busy recently... Besides, I have no mood to blog anyway... I am leaving next month... I am very very happy but I am sad too... Cause I will be going alone and my dear not going with me... Even I know he will go soon after I go, but I still do sad cos I'm gonna miss him so much... I know I am adult already and I should not be a crying baby but... After this whole 1 and half year having this relation with him, I can't lie to myself and say that I don't need him... Cause I really do need him... Not only for now... But forever... For the rest of my life... I need him... I want him... Someone who came into my life and change my life to a better life... To a more happy and colourful life... I love him so much... I just wanna be with him... Cause he is so perfect for me... Even sometimes he is childish and like to get angry without reason or angry easily... But I still do love him and I can't be far from him... I don't care even he sometimes make me cry or make me upset or make me angry... Cause I know he never do it purposely... I like him... Just one thing I don't like about him... he never open minded to me... Only sometimes after I force him... Hahaha... Ok... Dear, I really do love u... I also don't know why I love him... But, when I am near him, my hearts beat fast... My mind is full of him when he is not near me... When I don't have any news from him, I will be very worried... Even I know he is at home or with his friend but I really scare something bad happen to him... Cause I really scare to lost him... Every time when he started to get sick, I will be very worried... Cause I worried I can't meet him... I want to meet him everyday... I want to be with him everyday... That's what I feel... I really just want to be with him... I don't care he is rich or not... I don't care he is handsome or not... I don't care how he treats me... All I want is him... All I want is he to be with me for all my life... I really love him... So, God, please don't take him away from me... Cause I just want to live the rest of my life with him... I miss him so much... I love him so much... Thanks God cause You let me know him... Let me meet him... Let me be with him... Thanks God...

Scare....Stress

2009-08-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

I have applied for my Student Visa... Will be going to Australia on September early... I will be studying at Carrick... And one more important thing, I will not be going with my dear !!!! Gees... So sad and so scare... Hahaha... Hope everything will be fine lor... God bless me... I am scare to go alone... Really... As I dunno who will pick me up and I dun even know the road there... Gees... What am I supposed to do if I am lost in the city?? It will be very embrassing... OMG... I can't even think of it... What am I supposed to do if I met bad guy??? Who am I supposed to call if I need help?? Oh gosh... I really confused... Gees... Help me someone... So stress now... OMG...

Me... Melbourne...

2009-07-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Hai... I'm back... Gees... Been a long time I didn't blog... I am so so busy... So so depressed... So so tired... So so unhappy... But now, if seems like everything starts to go smoothly... I am so so glad that everything can go so smooth... Gees... I am going to Melbourne soon next month... I am so so happy... Ok... I know... I am going there for study + working... But who cares?? Gees... It's el... My friends are all there... I mean like Kuching's friends... Am so so happy... And my dear is going with me too... Yipiiieeeeee...

Ok... Now I want to say something bout this few months... On May... Ok... Day when I came back from my touring with LPPN friends in Bali... Bali... Yeah... A nice place for tourist and should and must be visited by everyone... It's city of paradise... A place for us to enjoy life... Yeah... I love Bali... A place that I love most among cities in Indonesia... Ok... This is the 2nd time I went to Bali and guess what, it's awesome... I learned to guide (cause it's a school toouring)... But yet I went to lots of memorable tourism place and enjoy the 1st time diving... Yeah... Diving is cool... I love it... Diving is expensive but from the photos I got and from the enjoyness that I got, it's worth it... Ok... After came back from Bali, my mom asked me to sit down and talk to her and here everything starts... Mom :" erm... I've been thingking of sending u to Australia...What do u think? " Me :" Oh...I love it... How bout going Melbourne?? My friends are there..." Mom :" Ok... U'll gotta find ur own school which u want to attend and find ur own stay..." Me:" No prob..." Ok... After this, here I start to find everything that I need and I found this Specta Education place when I went to shopping malls with my dear... And after chit chat a while, I think that it's good... And here I start to found Carrick Institute... Great... But I have to have my IELTS test for 5.5 minimal.. And I got 6.0... Yeah... I pass my IELTS and I start to put my name in for Carrick Advance Diploma Tourism Management... But then, few days ago, my mom change her mind to let me study tourism again... She ask me to study Hospitality... Ok... I listen to her cos I just want to go away from Indonesia... So, actually it's fine with me... Ok... So yesterday I got my offer letter for the hospitality... And mom said she will pay for it on Monday... Ok... Thanks GOD for this news...

For the Melbourne thing, I think tat's all... For me... Nothing is much more important than this Melbourne thing cause I really really want faster go Melbourne...

Tagged by Cathy ^^

2009-07-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

Once you've been tagged, you have to answer all the question HONESTLY. Lastly choose 6 people to be tagged :)

1. How old were you when you had your first relationship ? --> 14 !_!
2. Are you taken/single? --> taken
3. Do you like anyone right now? --> yeah
4.. Ever had your heartbroken? --> of course
5. Miss anyone right now? --> yups...
6. Who was the last person you sent a text to? --> baby boy
7. Last person to text you? --> baby boy
8. Last person you saw? --> indah & mom
9. What was the last thing you said to someone? --> duno.. T_T
10. Who is top in your top friends? --> duno...
11. Who do you trust the most in your life? --> my boy.. ^^
12. Who do you love most? --> actually weird answer... GOD.. yes, i love HIM most...
13. Ever been in love? --> yeah...
14. Who has hurt you the most? --> mom maybe??
15. Has a tragedy ever happened in your life? --> tragedy like wad????
16. Are you happy? --> for now, yeah...**Going Melbourne soon man**
17. How many good friends do you have? --> ermmmm 3...
18. Are there some songs you cant listen to because they remind you of someone? --> nope...i love all songs...
19. Have you ever cheated on a partner? --> yeah... T_T
20. Ever been cheated on? --> yeah !_!
21. Ever been told someone loved you? --> yeahhhhh
22. Ever told someone you loved them and meant it? --> of course
23. Not meant it???? --> nope...
24. What is your idea of true love? --> i duno...i just found my true love like tat...
25. Do you believe in love at first sight? --> i doo...
26. Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love? --> i dont know..dun ask me...

you're tagged :
1. anton
2. renata
3. u sun
4. sze wei
5. bii
6. kartika

Memoriez of my brother

2009-06-27T00:49:00.000-07:00

Today is 27th June 2009... Today I remember everything about my brother and my child time... Suddenly, I miss my brother... And I suddenly felt the love from my brother to me...

Remember when I was still baby, there's something on my armpit until my hand can't put down cause the thing is as big as egg... My mom brought me see doctor and if want to have surgery, it will cause a lot... So my mom thinking of surgery me herself... Ok... Then here the surgery start... My mom prepare the surgery tools and my dad prepare the alcohol... Dunno what's that for la... Then here comes the surgery time... My mom grabbed my arm and just cut it off... The blood splash all over her face and shirt and I started to cry... And my brother who sit aside watching, also start crying... My dad looks at me and felt sad... So, he ask my mom let me go 1st... Just calm me down... But u know baby lar... Wont stop so fast... So, I kept crying till almost fainted... Hahaha... Then my mom grabbed me again and clean the blood and all... My brother just come near my mom and bite her hand cause he felt sad see me cry till like that... Haha... From here, I feel my brother love me so much...

Another one is when I'm adult liao... My brother always cook for me dinner or lunch and if I need him, he always there for me... He love me more than anyone... He directly pick me up everytime I called him... He stay awake just to wait me home... He rush home just to cook me dinner... Bro, I love u... Thanks for all the love u gave me... I'm sad cos we are now far apart... I really hope u are here with me to share everything with me... Laugh with me, cry with me... Joke with me... Anything... I miss every moment we spent together... Why life so mean to us?? Why life have to separate us?? Ko, u know that I never can be close to Tika as I am close to u... Please come back to me... Cos, I want to share everything with u... Every single story of my life... Every part of my days... Just to share it with u...

Ko, take care of urself there...

Love,

May

To U SUN

2009-04-24T18:35:00.000-07:00

This blog is posted for a best friend of mine who just lost her beloved one...

Dear, maybe for u it's a hardest thing to accept n it's hard for u to carry on ur life without that special someone... But I just want to let u know something... Life is urs... With or without that special someone, u still need to carry on... Ok... Even that special someone is ur dad... Actually, for me... With or without my parents, actually it's the same... Cos I'm borned in differrent family with urs... Who love u and care for u so much... U grown up in a good family... Not like me... I guess u know what I mean... I know saying parents is not the only thing in this earth is wrong but without them, u still need to get on ur life... Keep on thinking on the past isn't good for u... While u r here wasting ur time thinking of the past, others r going 1 step further than u... So, dont waste ur time thinking of the past but keep ur step to the future... People staying on the earth is for future... Not for the past... Even u keep thinking of it, ur dad won't be able to come back... Why not u step forward and let ur dad see that u can??!! I'm saying all this cos I love u... We have been friends for almost 14 years... And I'm sad to see u so moody... So, cheear up... I bet ur dad also wish to see u and ur family happy... If got anything, just msg me... Cos I'll owes be here for u... I promise...

From ur 14 years friend...

No Title

2009-04-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

Have been crying recently... Until my eyes really really tired... Writing on this blog, I have no idea wanna type what... My brain is empty... N so do my soul... I am gone to far far away kingdom... I just dont know what should I do now... This 2 days having exam and it's quite easy and I can make it... Hmmmzzz... Really dont know what to type even there's so many thing I want to say out... That's all... Really empty brain now...

Masih Mencintaimu

2009-04-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

Masih Mencintaimu (Still Loving You)
by Gruvi

Salahku putuskan cintamu
(It's my fault that I broke your love)
Ku sesali itu
(I regret that)
Pergi meninggalkan dirimu
(Leaving you)
Kini ku merindukanmu
(Now I'm missing you)

Chorus:
Sayang maafkanlah diriku
(Baby, please forgive me)
Ku tahu ku salah menyakitimu
(I knew I'm wrong that I've hurt you)
Sayang terimalah aku lagi
(Baby please accept me again)
Ku masih mencintaimu
(I still love you)

Aku memang tak sempurna
(I am not perfect)
Ku sadari itu
(I realized that)
Ampuni semua kebodhanku
(Forgive all my dumbness)
Ku tak bisa hidup tanpamu
(I can't live without you)

Chorus repeat2x...

On top is a song that I heard few days ago which I think it's nice and I want all of you to know the meaning so I translate it... Can go try listen the song... It's nice... I mean the meaning... It's about a guy who realized that he really broke his gf heart... OMG... And the 1st time I heard this song is from Audition... When I'm playing with my ex... Hahaha... He dedicated this song for me... Ok... I'm not touch... Just feel that I like this song cause of the meaning which is so so touching... Hahahaha... So long didn't come in my blog and updated... Sorry... Busy this few days... Cause many exam and I have to prepare all the guiding stuff... I am going crazy now... Hahaha... Now I am having weekend... Which I will spent by watching DVD till sot... Hahaha... Btw anyway busway... My hamster named Stuwie passed away again... OMG... She just borned baby... 5 hammy babies... And after a week, she died... And followed by 2 babies 3 days later and 3 babies after again... OMG... So pity them... But my dear promise he will buy me another golden hammy so that our hammy got many types... Hehe... Thanks dear... And 2 days ago, cause dear do something naughty to me, he bought me mi cash for audition... OMG... I love it... Thanks dear... I love you so much... Ok... That's all... Wanna start my weekend relaxing day...

T.A.G by U sun

2009-04-04T05:03:00.000-07:00

1. Beside your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
my forehead..^^

2.How did feel when you woke up this morning ?
Lazy to wakie...

3.Who is the last person you took a photo with ?
my dear...erm..last week maybe...

4.Would you consider yourself to be spoiled ?
yes...by my dear...haha..n some of my cousins...

5.Would you ever donate blood ?
nope..dun have the chance cos everytime when wanna donate, owes AUNTY come or I m eating medicine...so cant...

6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
Yupz...Lots of them.. Uncountable...

7.Do you want someone to die ?
Stupid!!! U want others to die kah?? Dumb Dumb Question!!!

8.What does your last text message say ?
Giling... Bwt di pke lo?? (u guys for sure dun understand la) hahaha...

9.What are you thinking now ??
who make this stupid question....

10.Do you wish someone was with you now ?
Of cos la...

1.What time did you go to sleep last night ?
11.30pm...

12.Where did you buy the T-shirt that you are wearing now ?
T shirt from mom... Pants I think oso.. T shirt from LA... Pants from Malaysia...

13.Is someone in your mind now ?
Mr Ticketing... Hahaha...

14.Who was the last person to text you ?
Rachela Dearta...

10 PEOPLE TAGGED TO DO THIS QUESTIONNAIRE.

Anton
Cathy
Jos
Kaito
Sze Wei
Zie
Rena
Emily Yii
I sun
Emily Lai

15.Who is no.2 having relationship with ?
(Cathy) With Allan...

16.Is no.3 a male or female ?
(Jos) Of cos female la... if she is not then I duno who is...Hahaha...

17.If no.7 and no.10 together, would it be a good thing ?
Rena and Emily Lai).No la... They dun even know each other... Beside they are not LESBIAN!!!

18.What is no.1 studying about ?
(Anton) Stupid useless Computer major...

19.When was the last time u chat with them ?
duno lar....recently maybe...

20.Is no.4 single ?
(Kaito) Nope I think...

21.Say something about no.5 .
(Sze Wei) dark n skinny gal but very happy all the time...miss her...

22.What do you think about no.3 and no.6 being together ?
(Jos n zie) nope...impossible...cos they are both Gal...

23.Describe no.9 .
(I sun) Cute young gal...but now adult le...

24.What would you do if no.6 and no.8 fought ?
(zie n EMily Yii) No way..Cant be...

B.E.L.I.E.V.E

2009-04-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

Believe...
Today's title is believe...
I oso duno y I type this word on the 1st letter...
Maybe... I feel tat mst people duno what believe means...
1... I dun like people lie to me... Cos I owes believe in others...
Liar is an asshole for me... I hate liars...
Yeah... And recently... I kept facing these jerks...
Jerks tat I still said they are my friends...
But I duno I still can believe them or not...
Maybe it's hard cos I never will believe people when they start to lie on me...
And I dun like when others dun believe me...
Unless I ever lied to them...
Like my dear...
I never lie to him but he never believe in me...
I duno why... Maybe he is like tat...
I duno what happen until he dun believe me...
But for sure, it hurts me...
Well... Think like this...
U r in a relationship with someone and tat someone doesnt believe u at all...
How u feel???
O M G... Oh Mi Gosh... I hate tat...
But wad can I do???
If he really dun wan to believe me, I just can accept it...
No one can say anything bout it cos it's others right to believe in us or not...
I duno wad should I do so that he believe in me...
Love without believe...
I duno... I duno wad to say...
Maybe I am too weak to protess bout it...
I owes accept wad others do to me...
I just dun dare to say anything tat I dun like others ask me...
GOD, please bring me with U... Cos I need U in me...

Life recently...

2009-03-30T03:21:00.000-07:00

Just wanna said bout life recently... I am quite happy... Life recently is nice... Happy... Comfortable... Enjoyable... Nice... That's what I can said... I love my life recently... Nothing to think bout... Just some assignment... Like today... Where I forget totally about this Bali assignment... hahaha... Luckily I got time until 2pm... At last I handed it but I have to skip one class... So... It's ok lar... At least later when go Bali I can have guiding... Then just now went swimming with fren... So nice... Love swimming... I cant wait to go Bali cos at Bali got LAKSA... Yummy... I miss LAKSA... Oh LAKSA... Wait for me... Hahaha...

Life recently nice cos... I handed everything to GOD... Where I accept all HIS arrangement... I miss HIM... GOD... Thanks for arranging all this thing for me...

On 26th April (Sunday), I will go to Bali for touring... I mean we learn to be guide in Bali... But got one day free program where I can go anywhere I like... I hope that my bro can accompany me... Hahaha... N also his wife who is kind... Hehehe... But I have to be separate with my dear for 5 days... Sad Sad... N sunday I cant go with my dear cos I will go to Bali early morning... Sad Sad... Never so long been far far away from my dear... I'm going to far far away kingdom to find Shriek... Hahaha... But never mind... Cos I want eat Kuching LAKSA... For just this one time... OMG... Have been 3-4 years I didnt eat LAKSA... LAKSA, I'm coming... Dear, I'm sorry... I want eat LAKSA... Hahaha...

I'm tired now... Wanna rest... Cos I am sick... I get to be sick easily within this few months after that incident where I eaten wrongly... Which makes my tummy pain till I went to hospital... But I'm ok lar... Cos I still can continue doing my assignment and handed in on time... Thanks GOD... Ok le... Bye...

P/S : Sorry long time no update... NO time...

D.I.E

2009-03-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

Sad Sia... My hamster named Bubu passed away yesterday... I duno what time cos I arrived my dear house at 8.30 something and when we realized, it's oledi around 9.00... So sad... It's a male hamster... My dear said the other bigger male hamster named Stuart eat it... I duno lar... So sad... I yesterday keep EMO and I hit the big hamster... U know, the big hamster is the dad of Bubu... Sad sad... Bubu now is in heaven... With another hamster name Stuwie... I miss them... Cos they are damn cute... Bubu just borned one month ago... He havent even see outside world... Gosh... So pity Bubu... Bubu, u must not sad... U must be strong up there... Mommy is here praying for u... Bubu is a cute hamster... He is quite fatty and when he walks, his butt will run here n there... So cute... U cant imagine my hamster will be tat fatty and cute... I really miss my Bubu... Bubu, be happy up there k?? Btw, Bubu is buried under a plant at my dear house...

Bubu, daddy n mommy miss u n love u... Bye dear Bubu....

21.03.2008

2009-03-20T21:21:00.001-07:00

Itz us...
On 21st January 2008... We started this relationship...
We started to love each other...
We started to know each other more...
We started to understand each other more...
Today, is our 14th month anniversary...
I just cant believe it...
I know most people will think that 14 months only... Nothing la...
I know...
14 months is not long...
But it's not short...
For me, it's long...
Cos I never had such a long time relationship with someone...
Before... The longest one is only bout 8-9 months...
Now it's 14 months...
Gosh...
I know... In this 14 months u have been so patient to me...
I know most of the time I make u angry, sad and unhappy...
But u always be so patient to me...
Thank you...
I never know what true love is until I met u...
Remember once... When I was in hospital for 1 week...
U always there for me...
U always accompany me every nite...
Without saying anything...
U always there to cheer me up...
To make me feel not pain...
To make me feel better...
Ever once I'm going for endoscopy, u calm me down...
U never leave me...
And remember one nite I get weird cos of the medicine...
U still try to calm me down...
U never angry me...
Thank you...
Maybe I am not as best as u wish...
But I will try to be the best...
For now, later, future...
U R MINE...
Forever...
U r my True Love...

From :
Ur love one...

Friends

2009-03-03T04:37:00.000-08:00

Ok... Today's title is friend...

What is friend?? I know... Friend is someone who will be with u when u are happy and sad... Someone who will listen to ur problems and gives u solutions... Someone who is patient to u whenever u shows out ur anger to them... Someone who will treats u like sister and brother...

Yes... I do have this kind of friends... But they are now far away from me... I just dunno how to reach them... I miss them so much... They are friends that really understands me and will hear all my problems and give me solution... Friends in different places are really different... So do friends in Indonesia and Malaysia... People in Indonesia will only think of there own... They are have bigger ego than Malaysian... This is one of the reason why I never like Indonesia... People here never think of others feeling... I have been staying in Indonesia for almost 2 years... Recently I started to study... College life is nice, I thought... But it isnt as nice as I thought now!!! With people who are so big ego... With people that thinks they are always the right one... With people who only nice infront of u and stab u from behind... People who dont have idea how to treat u like a human... People who only know how to take benefit from u... I just hate that kind of people... Maybe not all Indonesian... But mostly... I just duno what else I should do to make them accept me... Like how friends in Malaysia accept me... Guys... Friends in Malaysia or where ever u are... I miss u all...

Us...

2009-02-28T01:49:00.000-08:00

When I am boring, this is what I do...

After I draw his face with powder, I took his picture...hahaha...

Cute us... People say we are good match...

Same chubby... Hahha...

Picture of US

2009-02-27T05:45:00.000-08:00

Hahaha... This is wad I draw in my paint tools... It's not tat nice but my dear like it...cos it was done by me... Hehehe... The boy if my dear n the gal is me... How I hope we can be like in the picture forever... Where there was no devil by our side...

Today dear come and pick me up in my campus and then we went to my friend house to waste our time by watching tv and eating our lunch... Hahaha... Cos I dont have anything to do... Rather than going home better I went to my friend house... After tat we went home at 1.30pm... Hahaha... Arrive my house about 2.00pm... He just went home at 8.00pm... So happy la cos he owes accompanying me... Muach... How I hope we now married... So u no nid to go home and owes stay with me... Hehehe... Love u dear...

Hanamasa... Delicious...

2009-02-26T02:48:00.000-08:00

Me n dear....

I love him as much as I love myself...

We accidentally wear the same colour shirt...hehe...

This is wad we eat... No la... Actually all oledi in our stomach...

Picture of the year...

Photos during in Hospital

2009-02-26T02:39:00.000-08:00

Me n Dear... Muach...Love u...

Dear keep accompanying me when me in hospital...

If not wrong this is the 3rd day in hospital... Boring...

This...!! This is the damn thing tat makes 4 hole
on my hand and make my hand pain till now...
Hate this thingy la... But wad to do?? Without it
now I die lor... Hahha...

CNY Pic...

2009-02-26T02:30:00.000-08:00

Tired of going here n there...1st day CNY...

In my aunt house... Permmed my hair...

1st house I visited during CNY...

CNY is the best...

S.I.C.K

2009-02-23T02:28:00.000-08:00

K... Guess u all looking for me n wondering where I am until I didn't have time to blog right?? OK... Here's my story bout my one week since Sunday to Saturday...

On last Sunday at 7 o.m which is after my dear went home, I started to vomit but it's not so worse... Until I started to awake from my sleep every 15 minutes which make me very2 suffer... Then it's already around 11 p.m. And I started to vomit non-stop until 1 a.m (Monday) until my mom really2 worry cos both my hand keep on shaking... Gees... So scary... I really have no more energy... Then my mom directly sent me to Royal Taruma Hospital... My mom really worry bout me... When we reached the hospital, the nurse started to give me infussion and check my heart and all... Then I waited for my mom to complete all the procedures... And when it's done, the nurse said that I need to stay over night there... So my mom said ok... But I have to wait for the room... Then we waited until 5 a.m... I was sent to the isolation room... I'm there for 2 days and then sent to 2nd class room with another 2 person in it... The next day, both of them were cured and went home... But luckily there's another 2 person came in... Hahaha... On the fifth day, I was asked to endoskopi... Like put camera in ur tummy and check inside... My gastric was hurt... Hahaha... Then the night, the nurse give me medicine injection which make me very not nice... I feel damn hurt and at last something bad happened which I started to act weird and like a stress people... My mom very worry... So do my boyfriend... I really dunno what happened but I still can pray to GOD... Guess, after I pray to GOD, I fell asleep until the next day... GOD really always here for me when I need HIM... And Ilove HIM... Ok continue... The next day my mom came to hospital to bring me out... Feel so great... The night, my boyfriend come and accompany... Actually he has been accompanying me for several nights in hospital... Love him...

This is my most worse sick I ever had... Hahaha... Ok... That's all...

No T.I.T.L.E

2009-02-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

Now is February... Yesterday I have just moved into my new room... Cos this 2 days I didnt sleep in my own room... My mom just painted my room into skyblue... I love it... N I have my own study table and clothing cupboard... Love it... So, my room look bigger... Ok... Tats only a little thing... I just wanna say this February isn't a nice month cos my dear will waste all his saturday attending course... Huhuhu... He will not be here during Valentine and our anniversary... Huhuhu... So sad... Yesterday my mom came into my room, saw my pic with dear... She didnt get mad... Tats a good sign... I hope 1 day I'll waste all my rest life with him... He is the one for me... All I know is I want to be with him... Forever... I only love him... Tats a truth... I cant even change it... I cant even stop myself from loving him... And I love him more each day... We quarrel quite much this few weeks... But at last we still back again to normal... And get more and more romance than b4... I hope he is in my future... Cos I want him to be in my future... Tats a truth too... Now, he is busy with his course until he dont even have time to reply me anymore... So sad... Cos I miss him so so much... I really need him badly... I dont think I can have long distance relation with him cos now, even I didnt see him for 1 day, I oledi miss him till going crazy... But I just duno he know how much I love him or not... He neva get jealous if I went out with guys... Or msging with guys... He neva say no to me even I say I'm going out with guys... I dont know whether it's a good thing o not... But I just dont like... I hope he will jealous... I hope he will say no to me... I dun wan he dun care bout me... I just duno what should I do... I'm sleepy now... Let me sleep... Pray tat everything will be just fine...

L.O.V.E

2009-02-04T01:18:00.000-08:00

Love...

Someone says that he don't understand what love is...
I just want to say, love is something that is very sensitive...
We need to use lots of time to understand love...
Love will come and go whenever it likes...
We can only try our best to make love stay with us...
And I've been trying...
And Love is still here...
Within our relations...
Love will never go unless we ask for it...
So,please never let it go...
Cause I still Love u...
Love can brings us to hurt...
But also can bring us to happiness...
It's only the matter of time and how we treat it...
If u look at the bright side,then it's happiness...
If u look at the dark side,then it's hurt...
Don't ever hurt the one u love...
Cos love will never forgive u...
And when I know I hurt someone I love,I feel hurt...
It's thousand or even million times more hurt than them...
That's why I'm trying not to hurt someone I love...
Even sometimes I failed to do it...
Don't say if u wanna love someone then u must be ready to get hurt...
It's not like that after all...
Look at the bright side and everything will be just like what u wish for...
GOD is at the bright side...
GOD will always win the DEVIL...
DEVIL is at the dark side...
So, don't look at the dark side where DEVIL is waiting for u...
Love do have a dark and bright side...
We can't learn how to understand love...
Cause love only can be feel with our heart...
When we feel that we like that someone,we will protect that someone,we will be with that someone until end of life,we rather die than see our love one die...Then it's love...
Sometimes we are late to know love coming...
But when we knew love is here...
We have already been affected by love...
Where all we think of is only our love one...
Don't try to understand love...
Feel it with your heart...
Feel it with the one u love...
Find all the happiness that both of u built...
Love will always be in the happiness...
And pray to GOD...
Cause GOD will bring us to that happiness...

p/s:
To someone I love most...

When I say I LOVE U, I really do mean it... And it is in my heart... Don't ever look at the dark side anymore... Let's come to the bright side... Where love is waiting for u... Try to open urself... And let everything to flows out... Then ur life will be no more miserable... Believe to whom u love... Cos GOD will always let love win the DEVIL... And I won't let u go... Cos Love will always by my side...

From someone u love...

Yesterday

2009-02-01T23:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to Megamall with my dear... We didnt go to church yesterday and I felt sorry... I kept praying to GOD and say sorry... We planned to eat Hanamasa but it's still closed... So, we went to eat KFC... Nice... He accidentally dropped the drink and splash on himself... Luckily he is wearing the pants that can ge divided into 2... After eating we went to TIMEZONE... A playing zone... He bought me a 75 thousand rupiahs card for me to play and we play Time Crisis 4 1st... As usual I am the lousy one... Only play few minutes then I die... Hahaha... But he is good... He played well... But it makes me boring so I went to find my favourite game... The game is like playing with our finger and follow the dots until it reached the ends... And get the bonus ticket... But I neva managed to finish it... Hahhaa... I am useless la... But then I still kept playing... I played until my tickets are 100 something... Hahah... Then dear come and find me... Then we play Deal or No Deal... A game where we can get lotsa tickets... Yesterday was great... We wont 70 tickets... Hahaha... Ok, then after playing we went to book store... Nothing to buy... So we went to Salon... As usual... I am having my hair masker treatment... Hahaha... After I straighten my hair (Not permanent one)... My friend called me and asked me to go swimming with her... Gees... A damn nice asking... I like swimming... But then my sis oso called me and asked me to company her go Salon in GM plaza... And while she was having her curly hair treatment, I can go watched movie with my dear... Gees... There was my favourite movie... It's a very very difficult choice... But I still have both... Just tat I cant go watch movie... I spent 1 and half hour with my sis and spent 2 hours trying to open my house door which at last I spent few hundreds thousand rupiahs to pay the key expert... After tat at 5pm we went to my friend place for swim... Arrived there at 6 and we swam till 7pm... After tat went for shower and dinner... Tats my yesterday...

HIM

2009-02-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

I Love him... Yes... I really do love him... I love him with all my heart... N I guess, so do he... Everytime he likes to make me angry... But I still forgive him n I am not mad at him... But this time, he really hurt me... Hurt me deeply till I really cant forgive him... But I know, deep in my heart... There's a sound saying tat I still love him... N yet, it's true... I really still love him... I just cant get him out of my mind... N this is the 1st time I really feels wad hurt is... N I hate hurt... I really hate it... When the 1st time I knew he hurt me, my heart cant stand it... N guess wad, I cry out all sudden... I know tat I am not the perfect gal... But I'm still trying my best to be the perfect gal... I just duno wad else I can do to make him notice tat I am around him n I will owes by his side no matter wad happen n where we are... Please know tat I love u with all my heart n please dun hurt me... Since saturday, I cant really laugh happily... Everything tat happen between me n him... I just can keep quite n left those in my heart... I really dont know when I can really forgive him... Or maybe I had already forgive him like usual where I cant even angry him for so long... I just dont know... I cant really angry him... Cos... I love him... He told me tat loving someone u must prepare to be hurt... But I dont agree with tat statement... Cos loving someone is trying all our best not to hurt them... N tats wad I'm doing... I'm trying my best not to hurt him... Tats all I can do...

GOD, please give patienity... Let me know wad should I do and how should I face all this problems...

CNY 2009

2009-01-28T04:56:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting for this few days... Have no time at all to post... Was busy collecting angpao and serving guests... K... Start from the 1st day of CNY...

1st day CNY...
I woke up at 7am... Gosh... so early hor?? But never mind... Cos I wanna make up and start my day with an early happy wokie... So... Here I am in the bath room at 7am bathing with cold water to woke myself up... After taking bath I went to my room and wore my new cloth... Then I started to bonding my hair... After tat went to sis room and make up... K, cos my dress is green, so here is my eye shadow with green one too... After tat waiting for my sis and mom... Gosh... outside was raining... It stopped at evening... Gees... I have to drive in this kind of weather... Dont like it much... I suddenly changed my mind and asked my sis to curly my hair... N cos of my hair short, so she accidentally steam on my forehead which makes me pain till death... Hahaha... K la... I forgive her...

After tat we wen to my aunt's house... 1st angpao is from my mom... Then 2nd till end is from my aunt and uncle... Yeah... This year's angpao doesnt got many... Hahhaa... Have to say... Its ok la... 1st day ended up at 12am midnight... Hahha... Went to eat seafood at night with some aunt and uncle and go her house after eating... And spent the whole night on the road (cos traffic jam), and restaurant (cos many people so the food comes out after a long wait), and their house... Playing with their puuply named El... Which is a Shih Tzu and it's very cute and I love it... Hope to have one... Hope my mom let me... Hope I can marry fast so I can have one... Hehhe... Tats all for the 1st day...

Here comes the 2nd day where I woke up at 9am... Hahaha... Cos my mom didnt said wanna go anywhere so I didnt set up the alarm... Then at afternoon my dear come and some of my relatives come... The one I'm waiting for is my sis... Mei Ling... Cos I wanna play with her baby who is very veyr cute... U'll love it when u see her... Go see in my friendster... She is cute... Really cute... Hahaha... Tats all la...

Tats my CNY for 2009...

Another boring day...

2009-01-22T23:26:00.000-08:00

OK... Its a boring day tat I had in my office... Nothing to do... Not many client come today... not many phone calls from the client... All I do today was just playing with my phone and checking prices for flights... Tats all... Really damn boring day rite?? I am damn tired and boring...

This morning when I woke up I felt tat I'm really lazy to go to work cos there will be nothing to do... and yet my thinking was rite.... There r really nothing to do... Tat makes me regret with my decision to come to work... K... Tats all for today...

Dear today go to his dad office and go to nokia center to service my phone... Hhaha... My phone is with him cos I change it yesterday... Nothing to do la... Sienz si... Faster 4.30 liao... So I can go home...

Tomolo going to MM with Christ8ie cos she want to dye her hair... Well, I planned to intro her to Ipang... My best hair cutter... Every problems tat my hair facing he will know what to do... Hahah... Nice... K le... Now in my office... Not nice blogging... Bye...

Boring day...

2009-01-22T02:28:00.000-08:00

Today was damn boring... Gees... Actually not really boring la... Just tat its no big deal... I cant do anything... Today's job :

1. Checking tickets fare for my mom... (JKT-DPS - 25 - 28 FEB)
2. Checking tickets for customer... (This cust is very annoying...)
(JKT-BKK-JKT) (JKT-HAN-JKT) (JKT-MNL-JKT) - Flight TG, SQ, GA
3. Doing useless thingy...

Gees... NO USE la... So sienz... SO so boring... Dunoo wad to do... SO, chit chat lor... Tats all...

Today Ko Jan Sin come to my place to buy tickets... Great... He knows where I am now... Hahaha... He change... He look better now... Hahaha...

Erm... K la... Tats all.. Bye...

To my dear

2009-01-21T05:20:00.000-08:00

To my dear...

Thanks dear for everything u have done for me within this 1 year which make me change a lot... Thanks for letting me to learn how to love someone truely... Thanks for what u have taught me... Thanks for giving me a chance to love u with all my heart... I know I am not the perfect gal for u but I'll be the only gal who can love u with all my heart and soul... Cos of ur love, I get to know what is the different with life with love and life without love... When we have someone to love, it totally change our world... We'll think lot and we'll think before we make a decision... When we have someone to love, our days will be more happy, more colourful, more cheerful... No matter what problems we are facing, once we think of our loved one, tat problems are gone... Tats the power of love... People said, love are our motivation... And yes its true... Its my motivation... I am in love... Into a love tat gave me lotsa motivation to continue my life... Thanks love cos u gave me another chance to accept u... Thanks dear for everything u gave me... Thanks GOD cos U send such a nice guy for me... Thanks...

Love,

May

1 year anniversary

2009-01-21T04:02:00.000-08:00

Today is my best day... Guessing why right?? Cos today is my 1 year anniversary with my dear... Gosh... I know what u guys thinking... U guys must be thinking tat its only 1 year... What for celebrate rite?? Tell ya all something... I am Bearbear... I neva have relationship with a guy for more than 1 year... And he is the 1st one... Hahaha... So, it should be celebrate... So happy...

Ok, how I celebrate with him?? Actually didnt celebrate like how la... Just he bought me food and we eat together at my house and he also bought some cakes for my mom and my sis... Tats all... Eventhough it's so simple but I still feel happy... I just duno why he always can make me feel happy with simple thingy... Even I am angry or mad with him, it will only last for maybe half an hour nia... Hahaha... So useless of me now... But bopien... Tats me and I cant say anything else... Hahaha...

Today I booked 2 tickets and checked lotsa tickets... And only one come to issue the ticket... But its ok cos its an improvement... Better than nothing...

Ok la... Wanna rest liao... Cos tomolo work again... Bye

My Job Training...

2009-01-19T00:46:00.000-08:00

This month no Blog... Cos I'm busy on my job training... Hahaha... Sorie... K... Now I am a bit free cos I come back early... (Why I come back early???) Good Questions... Cos I am bad mood and I am tired... Hahaha... K... Lets talk bout my job training...

On 15th December 2008, I started my 1st day job ttraining in DwiDaya Travel... One of the biggest travel agency in Indonesia... Yeaps... So, 1st day I'm placed in Document section... This section's job is handle every countries Visa... And our job is to make sure all the documents are ready to apply Visa... 1st time there, I feel weird and scare... But then, the people there are fun and nice... So, I feel happy there... I learned a lot and I got friends there... It was really nice... But sometimes, happy things wont last long... I'm moved to Ticketing on 13th January 2009... It was becos of my evil friend... She wanted to change place... Gees... I hate it... But at last I still accept it... Bo pien... LAter onwards, I was taught how to use the ABACUS System and other ticketing systems... I'm glad that I can understand... Just tat I need some time to practice... So here I am... In ticketing section with friends that I dont really like... Hahaha... But, its ok then... It's almost done... My job training is almost done...

Hemz... Feel weird within this 1 month... I feel so so tired... Hemz... Still so many thingy to type but my hand oledi tired... So, sorry lor... Next time yo... I'll continue next time... When got time... Or maybe when I finished my job training...